| (please post anon) I'm a 21 year old female,and I've never been kissed or gone out on a date.Growing up I went to an all girls school,and I was pretty studious and didn't care much for boys.I fancied a couple of guys at around 15-17 years old,but I had extremely low self esteem due to my weight.I was 5'5 and weighed 13.3 stone,and constantly hearing comments about my weight affected me a lot which led to manic depression and anxiety which I suffer from to date.Things were made worse when I lost my best friend to Cancer. I lost the excess weight from healthy eating and exercise,but I started drastically cutting and binging which in turn has affected my studies and my mental health.Right now I weigh less than 9 stone,which puts me on a healthy BMI range,however I still feel like a whale.While I do get hit on,my lack of experience with boys makes me ice cold when someone expresses interest. I somehow feel like I'm not good enough for them,when there are better girls out there with perfectly toned bodies.A mutual friend was quite interested in me,but I was kind of cold to him (I didn't mean to be,but I do it in order to not get hurt) as I felt that I might have been a dare (he has several attractive female friends).Most of my female friends are quite skinny (7 to 8 stone with perfectly toned bodies),and I feel like a whale in front of them. I know I'm too old to feel and behave this immature,which is why I thought I'd post here.If anyone's gone through something similar (if you have let your poor body image and self esteem get in the way of relationships) please let me know how you got over it.My body image is bad enough to ruin my day,and has stopped me from going on nights out with my friends. I also feel stupid asking this,but do boys really care if a girl's a bit flabby? I'm a size 10,and I'm quite apple shaped.I used to exercise a lot in the past,but I've kind of given up as I realised I might be doing this to gain a stranger's approval. | |||
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