He cheated and I'm not sure if I should stay or leave

I'll try to make a short story of this... My husband had a bit of a breakdown about 10 days before our 10 year anniversary. Wasn't sure if he wanted to stay with me or not because he is depressed and didn't want to drag me down. I told him if he still loves me then we'll get through it together. After about a month of not too much communication and zero physical contact, I checked his phone to see if he'd talked to his friends about how he was doing. (I know, I snooped and I'd feel bad if I hadn't...) Found out he'd been having an affair with a gal (one of his drinking buddies who I knew about) for maybe 3 months. The word 'love' was tossed around and there were pictures and pet names. From what I could gather, it sounded like she'd asked him to move to New York with her. He said he'd made his decision and at about this time she started sending texts saying that this was a mistake. He kept sending her texts trying to talk to her and pleading with her. I confronted him about this and he tried to tell me it meant nothing and that he was drunk which is why he'd recently quit drinking. It seems like he had his breakdown shortly before or after her not responding to his texts. I told him I want a divorce because I deserve better and if he's not happy, then he deserves better, too. I'm not sure where to go from here. I always said if anyone ever cheated on me, that would be it, end of the relationship. And if this affair had been purely physical, I might be able to get past it. but he told her he loved her and I think he was going to leave me for her. But I'm sad and confused. I still love him and I miss him (or at least the person he used to be). Anyone else ever been in this situation? How did you handle it? Advice and thoughts MUCH appreciated. Thanks! PS, we have no kids.

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