Non-employed spouses in single income houses

The question I'm going to ask can absolutely blow up in my face if I don't set this up correctly, so bear with me while I set context. First, this is purely on an "Intellectual curiosity" level. I'm not in crisis here. Second, I'm not making any accusations nor generalizations. Third, my mind has been put into busy mode by my Chinese Language Teacher today, and this is building on an observation she gave me. You have to understand, she has never been outside of China. Her world view is very different from what I normally encounter in the US (which is part of why I like to talk with her during classes - our conversations are most interesting when she begins to give me her view on things). She's somewhat aware of US ideas of political correctness, but it's not a part of her life normally. I think I have it set up so that nobody will get upset, so on to the question. She is always very complimentary to me about m pronunciation and how I began to learn Mandarin - almost to the point of being flattering sometimes. During the course of our discussion today, she took some time to describe some of the situations she goes to to teach. Americans who come to China to work, and who have individual attention from a professional instructor tend to be of a certain level or above in their companies and their incomes - I realize this part, and I think this plays into her observation. When she goes into these situations to instruct, she typically teaches the husband, the wife, and any children, and she will often teach them separately. The thing is, I think that people who fall into the demographic I'm describing normally are one-income houses because they are of a level where one income can support the family easily, and to be mobile enough to stay in these types of jobs, one spouse stops working so he/she can travel easily with the other spouse. This last part describes our family - my wife is brilliant, and capable, but when I was offered a mobile job, I was paid enough that we only needed one income, and she decided she wanted to follow me on the trips rather than continue to work. Now to the observation: My language instructor made the observation that very often, the professional that she teaches in these situations is very smart and learns the language very quickly. But the non-working spouse usually very quickly becomes frustrated and discouraged and cannot continue in the language, and never really progresses to be able to make use of the language in everyday life. From her observation, she concludes that when people stop working, they no longer have the level of mental challenge, they no longer have to overcome problems of the same level of difficulty, and as a result, they begin to lose their mental sharpness, their tenacity, and eventually even the curiosity necessary to drive learning. That's possible, but I think there are also other possibilities. I think I read a perception on here that successful people may actually attract someone who wants, or possibly needs to be a little more dependent. I think there is a perception on here that maybe the successful person may actually want someone who is a little more dependent. I usually reject that, but I'm willing to revisit my thoughts on that. It also makes me think because ... women often outlive their husbands. I always try to set my wife up well in case something was to happen to me. I know she has been a successful business person where I haven't been, so I've always been confident she could do that again if I left her the means to get started again ... but the observation my Mandarin teacher gave me really makes me think ... I want my wife to maintain all of her mental sharpness, and she has shown no signs of deterioration that I can detect. I also like for us to be together, travel together, see things together, experience it together, etc. To be honest, I can go to the most beautiful place in the world, and if she's not with me, I don't enjoy it so much ... but if she is, all I need is one expression from her that lets me know she enjoyed it, and it's through the roof for me. But I'm not asking specifically about us - that's just part of my background. What I'm asking is: Do you see this in anybody around you? Or have you experienced it even? Do your observations match the observations my Chinese teacher relayed to me? If you have an experience personally, or with a friend like this, do you think it is losing mental edge by the non-employed spouse? or do you think there is an attraction of the personality types that just makes a successful career person and a dependent person attracted to each other? Do you have a thought I haven't even touched on yet? No right or wrong answers here. I'm just looking for a broader set of opinions now that my Chinese teacher has me thinking along these lines ... :)

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