How Has Sex Changed Throughout Your Reconcilliation?

We have been in R from the very beginning a year and a half ago. Married 20+ years. He had a long term PA that totally blindsided and destroyed me in so many ways. Our jobs and family obligations are demanding but we are still in MC and put forth a lot of effort in R. Within all of that, I still struggle with our sex life. In the beginning, we jumped right back into it - which I later learned here on TAM that it was just hysterical bonding. It did feel good for awhile and some days just helped decrease the stress if nothing else. As months passed though, reality set back in and our romantic nights and afternoon delights became less and less frequent and intense. Now I feel lost. Last night was our first time in a few weeks. He has been traveling and life has been generally busy. I was so ready for some attention. In the end, it was just OK. Fairly abrupt. I fell asleep disappointed and wondering if I did something to turn him off. My questions to WS's among you is , Do you feel differently toward your BS in the bedroom now? Are they as attractive to you now as before the A? Do you ever initiate/participate in sex out of pity or obligation toward your BS.? do it because you are supposed to ? Do it to test if you have genuine feelings for them? My questions for the BS's among us are, Do you feel less special than before DDay? Do you ever doubt your WS's sincerity toward wanting sex with you? Do you ever wonder if you are just the shell and that their mind and heart are really somewhere else at the moment? By the way, I truly don't believe that my WH is still in the A. The signs just aren't there, but I am watching and he knows it. Our infrequency lately has truly been more due to our schedules than anything else.

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