Can I ask a question?

Lurker here, been reading some really sad stuff here. Some good information given. My partner cheated and I read here how i should shut things down...give an ultimatum me or the other person. Make them accountable.... for them to go no contact. Monitor calls etc... What good does that do? You can control all the physical aspects of cheating, but you cannot control their thoughts. Of course they will say all the right things to save their asses, but are they really staying because they love you

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