| Well, it just get worse. But anyway, maybe some of the TAMers here can share their views on resentment. For me it has always been the little things and funnily enough I remember my Mother talking about this when I was a kid. The little things build up. Personally I believe it is very much about respect. My WS has always been a bit of a slob around the house, I can't stand clutter. Keep in mind I'm talking about the small annoying things here which add to resentment IMO. If you want the main stuff dividing us you'll have to go over to my thread in CWI. From early on I noted that she would just leave stuff lying around. And she would leave the kitchen in an absolute mess when she cooked. I'm talking spilled food, splashes on the window sill, on the floor. Food left to harden. I'd step in and wash up and that was always the case, fair exchange, no problem. But I used to say to her why don't you try washing as you go. Only because it is something I have always done. When we finally bought a dishwasher she'd load it with foodstuffs hardened on utensils and plates and bowls etc. I'd ask her to rinse off food because invariably even the best dishwasher would not blast off concreted Risotto. Not once in 18 years did she take on board what i asked, not once. Tonight she baked cakes for her office and left a God awful mess in the kitchen sink. Well I blew up, she has been doing this sh!t to me for 18 years and I have had it. Should have heard the language as she came back downstairs to fix her mess. My protest lead to a remarks from her about how she was going to comeback down and do it after putting our son to bed (Complete BS! she had just said good-night to me!) Groceries - when we left our previous home to move here I was shocked at the amount of food I threw away. I kid you not I threw out 15 boxes of various types of biscuits she had purchased over the God knows how long - all passed use by date. This was just for starters. All of this because sometimes she would shop without doing an inventory. Now I do all that as well, no problems. But she still insists on online shopping for groceries every 2 weeks. Bottom line this can lead to warfare as it did tonight. Because our pantry is full to overflowing I put 2 jars of coffee down with the plates and bowls on the next level. My son accidentally smashed one this evening when he was reaching for a bowl. Yes, the coffee should not have been there but it was. My son, young as he is, made an error. No yelling but that didn't stop my WS from firing one across my bough 3 times about the placement of the coffee. She did this to relieve my son of some of his guilt. I get that. But I felt compelled to to give it to my WS that she didn't need to drag me into it, all while she swept up broken glass and coffee. That's what started the blow up - small sh!t. Meanwhile all the other resentments bubble under the surface. What next? It segues into comments about me not working blah blah blah and then me telling her that she is arrogant and stubborn like her Father. Eff this eff that - eff off! Thankfully she went off to bed - another rip snorter blow up was averted. Otherwise all good in our household. | |||
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