| What's up TSR, So I recently just split up with my girlfriend of 16 months after our relationship became incredibly toxic, climaxing about 2 weeks ago in her pummelling me in an elevator screaming 'you think I'm fat' (this was based on absolutely nothing other than her profound insecurity) and me sending her home on the train. To keep things relatively brief, she has had an awful upbringing, very awful and as such I believe has an incredibly negative outlook on people and things, rarely being able to see the good in people and her friendships and relationships not lasting for very long. We've had some amazing times and seemed to be in love with each other a ridiculous amount, but both allowed our paranoia to affect the others liberty out of fear of getting hurt. Most notably, she was utterly convinced that I was interested in other girls more than her, and I believed that she loved male attention while at university and was unfaithful to me. We've broken up a few times in similar circumstances, with her having been in her first year of university and things being incredibly difficult with trust, after I ended things because of her irrational behaviour, then she has become upset causing me to feel sorry for her and try to comfort her but say that we aren't meant to be together, then her turning incredibly cold and hateful, and every time they have resulted in me crawling back to her as she becomes incredibly cold and hateful towards me causing me to question my role in everything and want to try things again. I am meant to be attending the same university as her next year. . About 6 days ago I messaged her to say that I was sorry that I hadn't made contact and didn't want her to think I didn't care, but that I was just very angry at her behaviour and that I really thought she was crazy. She seemed incredibly happy and overwhelmed to hear from me and was then messaging me constantly for about 2 days saying that she had been incredibly down because I hadn't texted or called, and felt that she had made huge mistakes in the way she had treated and appreciated me. A day later she then asked for my Facebook password, and before I responded had used my email left logged in on her laptop to access my Facebook. In return, I asked for hers and she was incredibly shady about it, refusing to give it to me, claiming it was out of self-respect, so I said that I didn't want to talk to her any more because of that as I knew there was probably something she had done that would hurt me. Since this happening she has now turned incredibly cold and hateful, as usual, telling me that she is completely over me as she 'remembered what being with me was like'. I was quite thrown by this, as I was fairly happy with us being apart while it was my decision, but now she doesn't want to be together I felt slightly dropped. To some extent, I had hoped that we could be friends at university next year and avoid any spiteful behaviour. Last night I checked up on her Facebook and it turned out she had been chatting with an awkward mutual friend, who over the first summer of our relationship she used to Skype regularly and lots of dodgy things appeared to be the case. She knew this was someone who her talking to would bother me and yet when confronted about it claims that 'it wasn't meant out of spite', and that she had meant to block me but forgot. I'm really confused and feel quite unstable about how she can go from saying things like 'I wish the world was just us two, I'd be so happy then' two days ago, to absolutely hating me and my family's guts right now, acting spitefully. In one sense, I'm hurt that this is clearly the end between us, but in another that I no longer feel responsible for her craziness. But I'm unsure whether going to the same university as her will be a regrettable decision as she may be the type of girl who will spite me the whole time I am there, making my life miserable as I do care about her and would get hurt by lots of things. tl:dr, why do girls turn so mean after breakups | |||
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