| I'm separated from my wife. We dated for 7 years and were married for three and a half. This was my first marriage and her third. She has two boys from her second marriage. I moved in with them. At first it went okay but after a while I noticed that she placed her kids first before our marriage and happiness. Before long it just got worse. We started fighting about it in March. I left for a week; on the night I left she didn't even call looking for me. Eventually we discussed how and why her behavior was affecting our relationship. She promised to change but before long she was back to her old ways, disregarding me, putting the kids first, planning activities without me or even inviting me. Her kids are disrespectful towards me since I am their stepfather. I made lots of mistakes and admitted to them, but the worst thing I did was allow their abuse to be taken personally by me. We fought hard in early May and I texted her I was leaving her. She came home from work with the police, although there was never any physical abuse or violence. She then changed the locks and never called only texting or emailing asking me to remove stuff from house. When I finally did and asked her about a divorce 9 days later, she wept and said she still loved me. We met up in person and were intimate with each other. The next day she asked me to get counseling with her, but I said I only would if she would agree to never throw me out again after receiving an ultimatum from her kids: the kid with the problem told her we wasn't coming home as long as I was there so in other words; me or them. She couldn't say she wouldn't throw me out on the command of her son for 5 days. We never would have talked again if he didn't end up in an psyche ward. She emailed me to let me know she couldn't keep a meeting with me to exchange more stuff. I called. We kept a line of communication open. She spent a week attending to her kid, rightly so. Then we finally went to one therapy session last week. We were taking baby steps, but I was never feeling the love. This Monday she emailed her love and promised to change. Today she bailed on me again by phone, saying she can't change and neither could I. She complained I'm insecure, I told I was that way because of the way she treated me. I pointed out that if she loved me, she would see me tonight, but she said she wouldn't, that she was too tired. So she'll bend and twist east to west for her kids, one of whom doesn't want to live with her anymore, but she won't drive 18 miles to see me. She's selfish, manipulative, and stubborn. She has no empathy and puts herself, her kids, and her work before me. I guess I should feel lucky that it's over, but I'm sad and unhappy. How quick the wheel turns. She played with my emotions, lied to the police about me, never apologized honestly, and thinks of only herself. And like a fool I still love her, even though I'm losing nothing but a one way street type person. Obviously I didn't cover everything here, but she has so much baggage and drama I would need hours to describe it. Anyway, any advice on how to get past the hurt and pain? | |||
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