Issues between future wife, son, and family

OK so I'm 2 months away from wedding day and we are starting to develop serious issues with a lot of things. Probably the most important is my son! We live in different counties so my son, 14, and I will be moving in with her and her 16 yr old son. My son has ADD and struggles with school and hasn't had much structure in his life since I got divorced from his mother whom he has spent most of his time with until I convinced her to sign primary guardianship over to me. He is a little immature for his age and for some reason lies constantly, mostly for attention or to get out of homework. I work swing shift and a lot of overtime so when I get married, my soon to be wife will be the one taking care of him most of the time. She is a very structured person and sets high expectations for everyone. Her son makes honor role every year and school seems to come easy for him. She does suffer from depression from a very bad childhood and has issues with anxie ty. I know that I will be asking a lot from her, but I know she is the best chance my son has at learning structure, and how to succeed in school and in life. The problem is that he does not like her and doesn't want to move, and she is worried that he will make her life miserable, due to the fact I will be at work more than I'm at home and she will be taking over the role of raising him on her own and working a full time day job. I know that she will be the best thing for him, but we both fear it will send her deeper into depression. The closer it gets to the wedding day, the worse her fears get and I feel like she is driving a wedge between my son and I. We use to be very close but now he would rather stay at his mothers, who lets him do whatever he wants, or stay home alone. I feel that I'm being forced to decide between whats going to be best for our marriage, or whats best for my son. She also seems to find reasons to dislike my family, which has always been very close. Every time we do something with my family, it turns into an argument before hand. We see a counselor, but doesn't seem to be helping. I'm really confused and could use some advice!!!

Put the internet to work for you. via Personal Recipe 2629979