| I really can't believe I'm on here, but it's time I told my story and tried to seek answers on how to move on with my life and possibly my marriage. Back story on my husband and I: My husband and I met at a night club and then two weeks later we were married. Sounds like a fairytale right? I sure thought I was the luckiest woman in the world that day. A month prior my husband and I both had ended relationships and I even had rebound sex with another ex-boyfriend who we'll call PS because he's the reason I'm on here. So a month after my wedding PS called and of course I broke the news to him that I was married and he lost it over the phone using profanities and saying to have a nice life with my husband. It didn't stop there. For the next two weeks PS was leaving me incessant voice mails on my phone at night crying over "losing me" and keep in mind we'd been a non-item for two years at this point. However in July 2008 PS proposed to me, I moved in September 2008 back to our city, he ignored me for 3 days then revealed he had a secret to tell me, I get to our meet up spot, and here come his mom, sister, and girlfriend. It was awkward, but PS wouldn't end things with me so his entire family became angry with him. Despite all that we continued to talk and started a sexual relationship. My friend ended up having to tell PS two months after I was married to leave me alone and stop trying to ruin my marriage. So consistently so far PS has contacted me whenever he's single (sometimes even when he's in a relationship) to see how I'm doing. Regularly if my husband isn't around we'll spend up to 5-6 hours on the phone typically at night just gabbing about life. PS called me one evening in late September 2010; he was down the street from where I lived and we met up and stood outside talking for 20 minutes while my husband was inside, but PS became angry and said that my husband was controlling me too much because I told him I was afraid my husband would come looking for me. We met up again in December 2010 which was after I kept seeing him, alone, at the local train stations in our city and most of the time he would ignore me. We bumped into each other in April 2011 downtown and that's when the phone calls started again. My husband was suspicious, but let it go or so I thought. In May 2011 my husband ran off to some woman's house he met on the party line and turned his phone off for 4 hours. I freaked out and called the police then my husband showed up out of nowhere. My husband started hiding his phone and I found it a week after he ran off and called the other woman. She told me they engaged in sexual acts. Things became heated and I split from my husband and moved back in with my parents. What's surprising is my husband agreed to move back in with my parents two weeks after I was gone. We went to one couples therapy session in which my husband walked out. In July 2011 out of nowhere PS called me on his birthday asking if we could meet up for sex because it was his birthday. I told him no and hung up. My husband was then arrested for drinking in public and having warrants in November 2011 right after I started working again (honestly I believe it was on purpose because my husband never wants me to work; he's our sole provider right now). This led to me texting back and forth with PS all month long. My husband came home in December 2011 and I was sick with gallstones and losing tons of weight. My husband made it very hard on me to adjust to the new diet I was forced to be on. Of course during this time I told PS once again to beat it, but my husband wasn't there for me. By January 2012 my husband was back in jail. PS told me to leave him alone during this time. My husband came home in March 2012 and I had surgery to remove my gallbladder. My husband was disappearing to the train stations again drinking himself into stupors. I had no time to recuperate from surgery and went to the Family Courthouse and picked up divorce papers and by this time it was April 2012. PS texted me saying he had a baby on the way with a woman and he was so ecstatic to be a dad despite him not working and still living with his mom. This shocked me mostly because I was given a diagnosis of female infertility in May 2009 with little hope of conceiving naturally and PS knew this. I congratulated him and said he needed to clean up his act because he had a good example to set now. My husband went back to jail in May 2012 and PS was texting and calling regularly now. There we always times during our exchanges when PS would drop off the face of the Earth and by mid June 2012 he was a gone again. He popped up again when my husband came home in July 2012 and I told him to buzz off because I was trying to make things work. Now to the big problem which is happening now: In May 2012 I found a full time job. I worked there until October 2012 when I was fired. I hadn't heard from PS since July 2012 and all attempts to contact him since were NOT returned. As a matter of fact his sister said he and his child's mom were in a relationship that was going great and to leave him alone. So the day I was fired in October guess who starts texting me again? PS! He went full on with major apologizes for ignoring, for treating me badly back throughout the years, he's in love with, he can't forget me, he wants us to have children together and is willing to do fertility treatments, etc. He laid it on thick and I was stunned. By this time my husband and I were in our own apartment again and things were going ok, but my husband was still hanging out and drinking in public with good for nothing friends. I knew something had to be up PS's sleeves so I found his child's mom on Facebook and she had no idea PS was doing this. On top of that they were planning on moving in together and she was financially supporting PS who to this day is still unemployed and living with his mom. I played some of the voice mail messages to my husband who called PS's child's mom and told her what was going on. This didn't deter PS. Since I was newly unemployed I had a lot of time on my hands. PS and I would stay talking on the phone and/or texting pretty much all night. He said he wasn't in a relationship with his child's mom and he couldn't stand her. I told him about my husband's arrests and him meeting up with that woman from the party line. So in November 2012 the police were called to my apartment because my husband was very drunk and flipping out. This has since become a pattern. I finally had enough when on the day after Thanksgiving 2012 my husband and his friend took the keys to my car (I bought with money from my job) and went to pick up some girls. During this time PS and I were texting and making plans to maybe meet up. I heard my husband telling some laughing girl to be quiet outside my window and I flew out the door. It all went to hell from there. I took the keys to my car, got in, and took off to PS's house. I knew what I was about to do and to this day I know it was wrong, but PS and I ended up having sex that night. We had sex again a week and a half later too. So in December 2012 PS began hounding me like I'd never seen before. The "I Love You's" were nonstop, the texts, calls, and his desire for me to divorce and move in with him were overbearing. PS became super clingy calling day and night every 30 minutes. He wanted me to move in with him and be his girlfriend. I even tried to friend zone PS which didn't work immediately. PS pursued me like this (adamantly telling me to divorce) until March 2013. Each and every time I rejected him. So in March of this year PS got the picture and called his other ex girlfriend up (this girl cheated on him in the past) and they rekindled relationship. I was in college during this time so I was busy, but I noticed he was calling me less and less. He told me right away he had a girlfriend he was giving a second chance too and they were in love. In April 2013 PS told me he and his girlfriend are planning on getting married in June 2013. During this same month the, "I love you's" from my ex to me continued. He would even text me while his girlfriend was asleep next to him and it would sexual stuff. The tone of the phone calls changed to: "you should've gotten a divorce then we'd be together, but you didn't so now I'm marrying someone else." One night in April 2013 I told PS I'm in love with my husband and he lost it. PS ignored me for two weeks and I had to message his sister to get him to tell me what's going on. His sister said, "you're out of luck PS is with someone else." That night (beginning of May 2013) PS called and we talked for 6 hours. He reaffirmed that yes he's getting married, but he still wants us to have children together no matter what. PS also said be saying I'm in love with my husband sickens him because I'm trying to act like I never cheated on my husband with him. PS said the back and forth needs to stop. PS also asked if I was down for a three some which I declined and told me he's a sex addict who can never be alone with me again because it will just lead to sex. PS also affirmed his love for his "wife" and stated he would never lie to her. He also said he's marrying the "one." I then told PS during the same phone conversation that I'm at the train stations on specific days and times. I'd been following the same schedule for 16 weeks at this point and I'd never seen him there even though it's close to his house. Well a week goes by and my ex texts me sparingly, but when he does texts it's usually late at night. I ignored those late night texts then they stopped. I texted him, jokingly, that I'd met someone else and I was planning on separating from my husband. I heard no response and two days later I'm getting off the train and who comes off the other train with his girlfriend in tow? PS! He refused to make eye contact with me. Long story short I asked PS for a cigarette after 10 awkward minutes and he goes, "oh, hey! I was wondering when you were going to say something to me." PS then proceeds to introduce me to his girlfriend and vice versa using our first names only. PS was still avoiding eye contact. I start staring his girlfriend down and she returns my stares. I move away from them then they start making out. When they stopped PS's girlfriend continues to glare at me. Our trains came and I went home. Now for the latest update: It's been a week and a half since PS introduced me to his girlfriend and I haven't heard from him. I went onto a social networking site and found a profile PS's girlfriend made where she states PS and she are getting married shortly this year. My blood boiled and I exploded with the truth on her page. I told her everything that's been going on and about me being married and sleeping with PS. I also told her about the phone calls, his proposal to me which went nowhere, and like I said EVERYTHING. The girlfriend hasn't checked the page yet, but she was on there as of last week. I feel like I should've said something to her face, but I doubted they were getting married since PS is unemployed, she's 5 years younger than him, and they both live at home with their moms. Also the girlfriend is not his child's mother. It boils my blood even more knowing that PS just might go on and have a happy marriage even though his girlfriend is also a cheater. I don't know where to go from here, but I'm starting therapy (alone) very soon here. I had to get this all out. As for ages PS and I are 1 year apart in age and he's older. My husband is 4 years older than me. We're all (including the girlfriend) in our early 20's to late 20's. I truly do wish I'd listened to my friend when she told me all PS was trying to do was ruin my marriage. Looks like he may have succeeded, but my husband doesn't know PS and I had sex five months ago. My husband provides for me which PS has said numerous times he's unable to do and that he would never be a good husband to me. I guess my question is where do I go from here emotionally? Physically I'm still with my husband, but I feel like I've weathered a self-imposed bad storm. I feel like an idiot for even reacting over a grown man with no job, no car, no home,etc. :mad: | |||
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