I am back after two years

I joined TAM years ago when I was married 28 years and I took my husband back after his affair. There was a lot of negative posts about forgiving him but I felt that everyone deserved a second chance. Big mistake !!! I should have listened to you. The past two years have been hell. No sincere remorse. No love. No affection. Putting me down in front of people. Telling me I am too fat and not adventous enough. Emotional abuse big time. We were married 30 years this past March and he moved out this past April. Discovered that he has Avoidant Attachment Disorder/Dismissive Type and he has been harboring resentment and bitterness towards me for 22 years. It took a total of 4 years of crap and I finally went to a lawyer last weeks and started the process. Am I happy? No. But I had to do what I had to do for my sanity and health. I am humbled. I am embarrassed. I am mentally drained. I am lonely. I am scared about the future. I have no self-esteem left. I cry myself to sleep and wake up crying. I wish I could get angry. What a fool I have been.

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