Confused & Frustrated

Let me start off by saying I love my wife more then anything else in the world! I believe she is my soul mate. I won't cheat or leave her I'm with her for better or for worse, but I feel we could be much happier then we are. I'll state my concerns and questions and try to give enough detail, so people can see the whole or at least most of the picture, if anyone has any advise or helpful comments they would be greatly appreciated. My problem is with our sex life( surprise, surprise I know), we have been married going on 13 years and have 3 kids ranging from 10 to 3. When we first got together she was the best lover I've ever had and from time to time(sometimes months or years in between) that lover still comes out, so I know she's still "got it". We hardly ever have sex and when we do its just not good. When I can finally break her down to have sex, she just lays there, no movement, not one sound, she barely changes her facial expression. This would be great if I had that fetish but unfortunately I don't. Even though she just lays there I know she is getting pleasure out of it, her face, neck and chest turn red, she gets extremely lubricated without help from a "sex lube" and her lower abdomen and her vagina convulse when she orgasms. So I know it's not a matter of her not getting physical pleasure. I enjoy both foreplay and oral sex on her, I focus on her pleasure. I tell her i love her and how beauti ful and sexy I think she is all the time. Everyone we know and a lot of people we just meet know how I feel about her, I'm not shy in expressing my feelings for her. I do things for her, express how I feel, leave little notes or texts for her and occasionally buy her things she wants or needs, mostly little things flowers, a coffee from that place she likes, just little things so she knows I think of her. Luckily she is not materialistic and sometimes will get mad for "wasting money" on things(like jewelry and things like that). I treat her with respect and am very caring. I really don't know what else to do. I'm at a loss. It is starting to affect our marriage, were fighting a lot and even though I try hard to do the things I have mentioned sometimes a few months without sex will make me a little cranky, I try not to be but I get on edge and not just with her. I freak out on other people even more, like I said not all the time but come on I'm a man and have needs and desire s and several months with no physical contact (not even kissing or cuddling) I get a little on edge. I'm at a loss I will NOT cheat and I don't want a divorce, but I want to be happy in our relationship, I want both of us to be happy. I just have NO idea what else I can do, I'm dumbfounded. So if anybody has any advice, ideas or anything that can help, I'd be eternally grateful....HELP!!!

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