Its and affair, what steps do i take?

I posted on the general discussion previously this month "recent blowup" and "what else is she trying to tell me? 20 Year marriage, Kids in grade school, and now i found a text that tells me that she has a relationship with a man from our small town. He has kids that our kids attend school with. My kids are involved in many extracaricular activities with his. I was advised by a counselor to confront the OM and then confront my wife. I did. He told me that the relationship was primarily texting between parents, a little discussion about marriage. He is a few years into reconsiling his marriage after he cheated on his wife,and they go to counseling together. He said that my wife was someone that he could talk to and he felt that he could help her. He appologised to me. I demanded no further contact and he agreed. MY wife texted him before I got home and was told by him that I was by his office and had the discussion. So, she was tipped off. My wife admitted to me that there was infact an emotional relationship primarily through text. It took me some time to get her to finally admit it but by the end of 5 hours of discussion, she tells me this: She had been frustrated with our marriage, felt lonely and angry at me. He persued her after a casual first text related to an event that the kids were doing though shcool. He began to persue her. She let him know that she was married and committed. He was aggressive, texted frequently.He sent nude photos, she sent pics too. She tells me that she did feel "addicted" to him. She admits to meeting him out on 2 occasions, one that ended in him giving her a quick Kiss, and the next resulting in a longer kiss that she enjoyed and reciprocated in. She tells me that she does not love him in fact has been trying to find a way to end it .She has found that my recent attempts to become a better husband have helped her to realize that she is in love with me. She does not want to leave me now that she has the man (Me) that she married back in her life. This supposedly happened over a period of 3 to 4 months. She denies any sexual activity of course. I need advice on exposure. Do I? Lots of kids and family at stake here. Small comunity. I plan on exposure but need to know who to expose to, and what consequences to expect. With the current info available, reconciling is my choice today. Do i call her mom, sister, friends. OM's wife? Besides Kays Map, what other reading do i need to do? Do we start MC immediately? She agrees to std testing. How do I ever sleep again? I'm exhausted so what other info do you need from me? Thanks.

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