He Changed at "I Do"

My husband and I got married just 3 months ago and since then everything has changed. We had only known each other for about 9 months and I stupidly jumped into it. I am expecting my first child next summer. When we first met, he had strict standards, but was so sweet, caring, GENTLE and loving that I didn't read the signs as controlling. Now, I am not allowed to see my friends because he doesn't like them and thinks they are bad to me so "he is looking out for me when I can't look out for myself." He dislikes my family (who is wonderful and have been amazing my entire life) and I can't visit them unless he is with me. Actually, I can't go anywhere with people unless he is with me. If he is home, I have to be home otherwise he blows up about how I am choosing someone else over our marriage. He has told me I am now not allowed to wear makeup to work, deleted my facebook account, made me change my phone number, email account, throw away clothes/jewe lry and delete all pictures from before we met. The worst part is his anger, it really scares me but I just dont know if I can raise a baby like this much less live life this way. The terrible part is that this is my second marriage, I was in an incredibly abusive relationship before and I see this heading down that path. I feel terrible that I made this mistake and wonder how I was this blind a second time, but I know I'm not strong enough to handle this forever. The sad part is that he has two other children, one of whom the mother took away from him and I would feel horrible and wrong doing the same thing. I know that sounds irrational. He has times, weeks where he is sweet and kind toward me and we talk about the future and get excited, but deep down I know what the future looks like. I'm worried about him if I leave and worried about me and my unborn baby if I stay. Posting from Texas. I know I need to push back, but I'm scared to be quite honest. If I tell him no or disagree with something he says in a nice way, he blows up and becomes violent, breaking my things, punching walls. Last time he got upset it was because my adult sisters and I use nicknames for each other. My sister's name is Marsha and we call her Marshes. He told me it was immature and it made me stupid. I told him that I simply didn't see what the big deal was about it, my whole family is fun-loving and calls each other nicknames. He broke his hand in three places from punching a wall. He hasn't become violent with me but his rage seems uncontrollable. He has started to see a counselor, but screamed at me when I suggested I see one too. I have told him how I feel and he says I'm just whining and I should grow up and that no one should be telling him what to do. He also will call me names then and tell me I just need to listen to him and learn my role as a wife. I just feel that there is no negotiating or healthy communication with him. I have never raised my voice to him or had an attitude before, as you said, in many ways I have let him control me which is humiliating and makes me feel completely worthless. However, today I finally told him very calmly and respectfully I can't take the control issues and feel unloved and disrespected. He told me to stop running my mouth and that I was being selfish. After a long run around with that and him threatening divorce numerous times, he finally apologized and we are having a talk about it tonight. I just feel like he doesn't see where I'm coming from and I don't know how to communicate with him without him blowing up or calling me names. I also have a hard time just walking away when that happens because I feel bad. He has also been diagnosed with OCD, Anxiety Disorders and Major Depression so when I try discussing these relationship issues, he says, you know I have problems...Yes, I do know that, but I often feel like our life is lived accommodating them...help!:confused:

Put the internet to work for you. via Personal Recipe 2629979