Long story short. The woman that I have been dating was married to her ex husband for 20 years. They have been divorced for 10 years and have 3 adult children ages 25, 23, and 19. He is wealthy and cheated on her during the marriage. They divorce and he is now remarried.
Many years ago, I dated this same woman right out of high school who dumped me for her now ex husband.
During this phase of our recent dating, I noticed that she travels long trips in the same car with her ex husband and his current wife to go visit one of the kids . She rides in the back seat as the third wheel. :scratchhead: These are six hour trips one way. She claims that she has forgiven him for his infidelities during their marriage because it is the high moral ground and the Christian thing to do. She also goes to parties at their house and also goes out to dinner with them. The ex's current wife is a doormat and tolerates all this because of his wealth. I think it feeds into his ego that he and his wife and ex wife all have this great relationship together.
She has wanted to get intimate with me over the last 2 months but I have forced myself to keep a distance because other issues make me feel uncomfortable. He still rescues her financially ( not part of the divorce agreement) which I am sure makes him feel like a hero of sorts.
I expressed these concerns to her the other evening and even mentioned that I thought they could end up together again some day if his current marriage does not work. I was even curious why she dumped me for him many years ago and she could not remember why. I told her that I felt that I was second choice. She was surprised that I was uncomfortable that she participates in functions with them. She also stated that I was jealous which I agreed but emphasized that my inability to get intimate with her was to protect myself from getting hurt.
Her three boys make fun of their father's wife and don't like her and their mother laughs and enjoys listening to the stories that they tell about her. To me, this contradicts her affirmation of reaching the high moral ground of forgiveness.
I understand that there has to be some level of respectful communication between her and her ex because of the kids and I told her this. However, I also stated that I respectfully disagree with her level of interaction, and I am moving on.
She does not understand why I feel the way I do which just reinforces that this is trouble for me. I know some people think that I may be unreasonable but my gut instinct is telling me this will never be a good relationship for me. Am I better off for moving on?
Many years ago, I dated this same woman right out of high school who dumped me for her now ex husband.
During this phase of our recent dating, I noticed that she travels long trips in the same car with her ex husband and his current wife to go visit one of the kids . She rides in the back seat as the third wheel. :scratchhead: These are six hour trips one way. She claims that she has forgiven him for his infidelities during their marriage because it is the high moral ground and the Christian thing to do. She also goes to parties at their house and also goes out to dinner with them. The ex's current wife is a doormat and tolerates all this because of his wealth. I think it feeds into his ego that he and his wife and ex wife all have this great relationship together.
She has wanted to get intimate with me over the last 2 months but I have forced myself to keep a distance because other issues make me feel uncomfortable. He still rescues her financially ( not part of the divorce agreement) which I am sure makes him feel like a hero of sorts.
I expressed these concerns to her the other evening and even mentioned that I thought they could end up together again some day if his current marriage does not work. I was even curious why she dumped me for him many years ago and she could not remember why. I told her that I felt that I was second choice. She was surprised that I was uncomfortable that she participates in functions with them. She also stated that I was jealous which I agreed but emphasized that my inability to get intimate with her was to protect myself from getting hurt.
Her three boys make fun of their father's wife and don't like her and their mother laughs and enjoys listening to the stories that they tell about her. To me, this contradicts her affirmation of reaching the high moral ground of forgiveness.
I understand that there has to be some level of respectful communication between her and her ex because of the kids and I told her this. However, I also stated that I respectfully disagree with her level of interaction, and I am moving on.
She does not understand why I feel the way I do which just reinforces that this is trouble for me. I know some people think that I may be unreasonable but my gut instinct is telling me this will never be a good relationship for me. Am I better off for moving on?
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