I have been with my SO for 8 months now, the first month we had sex a lot sometimes 2 or three times in a row. I am a multi orgasmic guy and she is pretty much one and done so it takes a bit for her to get going again.
I feel she ignores me a lot though, she is extremely passive on everything including sex. I Always have to initiate sex. If I do when she has been drinking a lot she will reject me in the worst way. The first time she did this we were in the missionary position and going at it good and she just pushes me out and rolls over! WTF! Went from hero standing tall to zip in about a second! I almost just said **** it and left! I have never been so humiliated in my life! Now when she starts drinking I don't even try anything.
When she doesn't drink and I try to initiate, we are almost always spooning and I try caressing, and light massage and kissing parts of her body and there is no response, not a moan not a movement that indicates she wants sex. Sometimes I just get pissed and take care of myself in the shower or do it right there in bed next to her and she puts the cover over her head.
I have told her that I like sex once or twice a day and I am always ready and she makes me so hot and horny for her. I have asked her what gets her going and she only says kissing on the neck so I try that and no response.
I do 99% percent of all the cooking, cleaning, romancing with candle lit dinners, send sexy text, make her coffee for her, breakfast in bed, I pay all the bills everything.
I always go down on her but she has only given me 5 BJs in the 9 months we have been together. She won't even hardly touch my penis or even look at it unless she thinks I am not watching her.
I have slowly stopped being as attentive towards her, and I masturbate 2 or three times a day just to keep myself at bay! Frustrating as hell, I don't like to masturbate especially when I have a beautiful woman that lives with me, why should I do that?
I was married for 19 years and caught her cheating so I divorced her. We were both in the Army and the last 5 years of our marriage we saw each other for about 1 year total during that 5 years so we grew apart. That's my back ground for relationship pretty much.
My SO (now), was married for a couple years and he was abusive and it took her 3 years to divorce him, he is such a nice guy he moved to Colorado just so he wouldn't have to pay child support. Anyhow, most of her other relationships have been with abusive guys or players and such.
She smokes and she drinks, sometimes to excess, she is a shift worker and sometimes only gets 4 or 5 hours sleep between shifts, so I know all that plays against her libido, but it is consuming my every waking hour as to how to get her libido going when the time presents itself.
I can be an ass when I need to be, but I am pretty much the so called "Nice Guy" (hate that saying btw)
So my question is how do I deal with her? My plan is to just ignore her, not hold hands, no kissing, no hugging, no talking, ignoring her text until she finally will talk to me.
NOTE: the first time I wanted to talk to her about our sex life, she came home from work and we had the most amazing sex we have had and never talked, the next time she came home and just went to sleep.
It seems she would rather talk through text than face to face. Her daughter is the same way, no face to face talking, just text but she is an 18 YO spoiled brat really.
Any suggestions on what to do? I know without a doubt she loves me and I love her. Just frustrated as hell to the point I don't ever want to have sex with her again because I can't handle the emotional hurt of the rejections and being ignored!
I feel she ignores me a lot though, she is extremely passive on everything including sex. I Always have to initiate sex. If I do when she has been drinking a lot she will reject me in the worst way. The first time she did this we were in the missionary position and going at it good and she just pushes me out and rolls over! WTF! Went from hero standing tall to zip in about a second! I almost just said **** it and left! I have never been so humiliated in my life! Now when she starts drinking I don't even try anything.
When she doesn't drink and I try to initiate, we are almost always spooning and I try caressing, and light massage and kissing parts of her body and there is no response, not a moan not a movement that indicates she wants sex. Sometimes I just get pissed and take care of myself in the shower or do it right there in bed next to her and she puts the cover over her head.
I have told her that I like sex once or twice a day and I am always ready and she makes me so hot and horny for her. I have asked her what gets her going and she only says kissing on the neck so I try that and no response.
I do 99% percent of all the cooking, cleaning, romancing with candle lit dinners, send sexy text, make her coffee for her, breakfast in bed, I pay all the bills everything.
I always go down on her but she has only given me 5 BJs in the 9 months we have been together. She won't even hardly touch my penis or even look at it unless she thinks I am not watching her.
I have slowly stopped being as attentive towards her, and I masturbate 2 or three times a day just to keep myself at bay! Frustrating as hell, I don't like to masturbate especially when I have a beautiful woman that lives with me, why should I do that?
I was married for 19 years and caught her cheating so I divorced her. We were both in the Army and the last 5 years of our marriage we saw each other for about 1 year total during that 5 years so we grew apart. That's my back ground for relationship pretty much.
My SO (now), was married for a couple years and he was abusive and it took her 3 years to divorce him, he is such a nice guy he moved to Colorado just so he wouldn't have to pay child support. Anyhow, most of her other relationships have been with abusive guys or players and such.
She smokes and she drinks, sometimes to excess, she is a shift worker and sometimes only gets 4 or 5 hours sleep between shifts, so I know all that plays against her libido, but it is consuming my every waking hour as to how to get her libido going when the time presents itself.
I can be an ass when I need to be, but I am pretty much the so called "Nice Guy" (hate that saying btw)
So my question is how do I deal with her? My plan is to just ignore her, not hold hands, no kissing, no hugging, no talking, ignoring her text until she finally will talk to me.
NOTE: the first time I wanted to talk to her about our sex life, she came home from work and we had the most amazing sex we have had and never talked, the next time she came home and just went to sleep.
It seems she would rather talk through text than face to face. Her daughter is the same way, no face to face talking, just text but she is an 18 YO spoiled brat really.
Any suggestions on what to do? I know without a doubt she loves me and I love her. Just frustrated as hell to the point I don't ever want to have sex with her again because I can't handle the emotional hurt of the rejections and being ignored!
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