Hi, all-
I would like your opinion on my situation.
My wife has a freelance photographer who works for her. Until recently he was the only one. The job doesn't pay much and is really more of a hobby for anyone doing it.
At one time she was doing the same job and they were competing against each other. Then my wife got the job running the department and now he works for her.
I feel the photographer is insinuating himself in our marriage, my wife says he's just a friend.
Last year he started gifting her things. First it was a used camera lens he no longer needed that would fit her old camera.
I looked at the lens and it doesn't look at all used to me, no wear marks. Looking on eBay this lens is still being bought and sold and used is worth $150.
A few months later they had an old fashioned tea at the Womens' Club and my daughter wore my great grandmother's dress (it was magical) to the tea.
I was there, with my camera, as was my wife and the photographer.
Before going inside for the tea I asked my daughter to pose against a nice back drop outside so I could take a picture.
I'm taking pictures, telling her to turn this way, tilt your head, so on and suddenly the photographer jumps in and starts taking pictures. Nothing wrong with that, my wife had her camera and she took some pictures too.
A few weeks later I was at my in-laws' house and as I walked by the spare bedroom, I saw three of these pictures hanging on the wall.
I asked where they'd come from and my wife told me the photographer had printed them out and given them to her.
These are large pictures 11" x 17" and someone bought Aaron Bros frames for them. I'm not sure who. My father in law makes picture frames so I'm sure he didn't run out and buy these expensive ones.
The next thing I know copies of movies in DVD format are showing up. "The photographer rented them and made a copy for us."
The lens bothered me, the pictures really bothered me.
When I brought up the lens my wife said he didn't need it anymore, it was no big deal.
The pictures, though, seemed kind of weird. My wife said they just have a competition from when they were both freelance photographers, but it feels like he's in competition with me. (And this may be a key point.)
I was mulling what to do until the DVDs started showing up, then I told my wife, "No more gifts."
I didn't do anything about the photographs because they were already hanging up at my in-laws.
The lens actually fit an old camera of my wife's and I don't think she's ever used it. It's sitting in a cupboard.
Things seemed to settle down, no more gifts and a few months later the photographer's wife had some health issues and he disappeared for the most part.
Now he's back, though, and he's discovered Facebook.
The other day he sent a message to my wife that said, "My wife just got back from lunch with the pastor's wife. I was showing her how I'd found the stuff on my son and that I WAS POKING YOU !!!"
My wife made light of this, saying they're having a 'poke war' and she'd been under deadline and he was pestering her with messages and pokes.
I see it as being a little more serious than that.
So, do you think this person has crossed the line of friendship into something else?
I would like your opinion on my situation.
My wife has a freelance photographer who works for her. Until recently he was the only one. The job doesn't pay much and is really more of a hobby for anyone doing it.
At one time she was doing the same job and they were competing against each other. Then my wife got the job running the department and now he works for her.
I feel the photographer is insinuating himself in our marriage, my wife says he's just a friend.
Last year he started gifting her things. First it was a used camera lens he no longer needed that would fit her old camera.
I looked at the lens and it doesn't look at all used to me, no wear marks. Looking on eBay this lens is still being bought and sold and used is worth $150.
A few months later they had an old fashioned tea at the Womens' Club and my daughter wore my great grandmother's dress (it was magical) to the tea.
I was there, with my camera, as was my wife and the photographer.
Before going inside for the tea I asked my daughter to pose against a nice back drop outside so I could take a picture.
I'm taking pictures, telling her to turn this way, tilt your head, so on and suddenly the photographer jumps in and starts taking pictures. Nothing wrong with that, my wife had her camera and she took some pictures too.
A few weeks later I was at my in-laws' house and as I walked by the spare bedroom, I saw three of these pictures hanging on the wall.
I asked where they'd come from and my wife told me the photographer had printed them out and given them to her.
These are large pictures 11" x 17" and someone bought Aaron Bros frames for them. I'm not sure who. My father in law makes picture frames so I'm sure he didn't run out and buy these expensive ones.
The next thing I know copies of movies in DVD format are showing up. "The photographer rented them and made a copy for us."
The lens bothered me, the pictures really bothered me.
When I brought up the lens my wife said he didn't need it anymore, it was no big deal.
The pictures, though, seemed kind of weird. My wife said they just have a competition from when they were both freelance photographers, but it feels like he's in competition with me. (And this may be a key point.)
I was mulling what to do until the DVDs started showing up, then I told my wife, "No more gifts."
I didn't do anything about the photographs because they were already hanging up at my in-laws.
The lens actually fit an old camera of my wife's and I don't think she's ever used it. It's sitting in a cupboard.
Things seemed to settle down, no more gifts and a few months later the photographer's wife had some health issues and he disappeared for the most part.
Now he's back, though, and he's discovered Facebook.
The other day he sent a message to my wife that said, "My wife just got back from lunch with the pastor's wife. I was showing her how I'd found the stuff on my son and that I WAS POKING YOU !!!"
My wife made light of this, saying they're having a 'poke war' and she'd been under deadline and he was pestering her with messages and pokes.
I see it as being a little more serious than that.
So, do you think this person has crossed the line of friendship into something else?
Put the internet to work for you.
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