Sorry to the long story.
I have been married for 24 yrs. Let me start by saying my husband is a great father and provider. We have built several successful businesses together. My issue is I have never felt like I was top priority to my husband. At the beginning of our marriage, the problem was his hanging out with his work friends or his brothers and partying until early morning. I know he cheated early in our marriage and we stayed together. After we moved and started our own business, he began the same pattern with the guys in the neighborhood. When I would complain he would tell me I need to get friends or hang out with the wives. I am ten years younger than he is. His friends wives would treat me like crap because of that or like I needed to be schooled on life. Therefore, that was out the question.
He felt that expensive gifts, fancy cars and a big house gave him the right to hang out, as if I had no help in obtaining our success. We have worked together for over 14 years. I handle ALL the paperwork and staff. He handles the outside field such as client visits, lunches, and golf outings.
I feel as if I constantly have to demand respect from a few of his family members (He comes from a large family). One of his brothers told me I needed to take stress off my husband. Two of his sisters and I did not speak for years because I refuse to be a pushover regarding money. One SL who married into the family was told not to associate with me because I do not know my place. This is just a few incidents in 24 years. When I tell my husband about he says to "ignore them they have issues" "that's how they are" "they are jealous". At one point, I refused to go to any family events.
I have been with him since I was 18 yrs. old. I have talked to him until I am blue in the face about my feelings. I told him I do not feel important in his life. He is not affectionate. He thinks watching TV together is quality time. Now that our child is moved out we have date night (supposedly) it always includes friends. I have told him I want one on one time. He thinks going to the store or church is one on one time because no one is with us. I told him I do not need a fancy dinner for our alone time we can do a picnic. He promised to plan it. That was three years ago. However, three weeks ago he and his golf friends promised to golf at least once a week. That commitment has been kept. When I confronted him, he said he needs his stress relief.
Our sex life has gone downhill. If I initiate it I am shot down, he is too tired. When we do have sex, there is no foreplay. I even told him about that. He says he is not the romantic type.
I need affectionate, to be touched, to be made feel like I am number one. I feel lonely and unfulfilled. At this point, I am ready to walk away. Is it me?
I have been married for 24 yrs. Let me start by saying my husband is a great father and provider. We have built several successful businesses together. My issue is I have never felt like I was top priority to my husband. At the beginning of our marriage, the problem was his hanging out with his work friends or his brothers and partying until early morning. I know he cheated early in our marriage and we stayed together. After we moved and started our own business, he began the same pattern with the guys in the neighborhood. When I would complain he would tell me I need to get friends or hang out with the wives. I am ten years younger than he is. His friends wives would treat me like crap because of that or like I needed to be schooled on life. Therefore, that was out the question.
He felt that expensive gifts, fancy cars and a big house gave him the right to hang out, as if I had no help in obtaining our success. We have worked together for over 14 years. I handle ALL the paperwork and staff. He handles the outside field such as client visits, lunches, and golf outings.
I feel as if I constantly have to demand respect from a few of his family members (He comes from a large family). One of his brothers told me I needed to take stress off my husband. Two of his sisters and I did not speak for years because I refuse to be a pushover regarding money. One SL who married into the family was told not to associate with me because I do not know my place. This is just a few incidents in 24 years. When I tell my husband about he says to "ignore them they have issues" "that's how they are" "they are jealous". At one point, I refused to go to any family events.
I have been with him since I was 18 yrs. old. I have talked to him until I am blue in the face about my feelings. I told him I do not feel important in his life. He is not affectionate. He thinks watching TV together is quality time. Now that our child is moved out we have date night (supposedly) it always includes friends. I have told him I want one on one time. He thinks going to the store or church is one on one time because no one is with us. I told him I do not need a fancy dinner for our alone time we can do a picnic. He promised to plan it. That was three years ago. However, three weeks ago he and his golf friends promised to golf at least once a week. That commitment has been kept. When I confronted him, he said he needs his stress relief.
Our sex life has gone downhill. If I initiate it I am shot down, he is too tired. When we do have sex, there is no foreplay. I even told him about that. He says he is not the romantic type.
I need affectionate, to be touched, to be made feel like I am number one. I feel lonely and unfulfilled. At this point, I am ready to walk away. Is it me?
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