This has annoyed me so much of late.
I'm quite comfortable at parties, at social engagements -regardless of whether I know a lot of people there or not - and this has come through exposure to social interaction and coming out of my shell. I'm not young-ish by any means (late 20s, doing a PhD) so have had time to build up the confidence to do this (I had SA as a teen).
But what's annoying me now is that I feel that men are automatically dismissive of me. Whenever I talk to them, I appear interested, smile, tell them a bit about myself. In return, I get blank looks, them telling me they have a girlfriend when I ask how they are (this was a friend of mine too!) and turn away.
I'm not unattractive, petite and not chatty at all. It's not that I talk too much; I can do the whole small talk, ask how they are, how they know the person, and so on. I talk about books, movies and events, yet they don't want to even explore that notion with me. Women on the other hand are very eager to talk to me, but men seem to despise me. They'll mutter something, mention their wife/girlfriend loudly, or turn away to talk to their friends.
It's upsetting me because I fear experiences like this will make me turn into the painfully shy girl I once was. I hated her and don't want to be that way again. Does it look like I'm hitting on them (I've been single for 5 years, by the way) or that I'm going to be obnoxious? Should I not talk to men at all?
Put the internet to work for you.
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