I have decided to divorce my wife after 15+ years of marriage due to irreconcilable differences. We have a ten year old child together.
I'm in my early 40s and heading toward the end of my government career and will have to retire in five years. Afterwards, I will have to go back to school and/or start a new career. I stayed in my job to support my wife and daughter despite it not being what I wanted to work with. I'm dreaming about finally being able to do something I want to do. The chance of follow my dream career instead of being a low-level bureaucrat in some stuffy government agency.
My wife have just started her teaching career at the age of 40. The first ten years I allowed her to follow her dreams of starting up her own business (failed) and getting a couple of college degrees. She have three degrees now (two Bachelors, one Master) in addition to her teaching certificate). She wants to pursue a certification for Elementary School Principal.
I'm the only one who have been able to save up money and get some retirement benefits. I have a College Education fund worth $75,000, a future government retirement worth $30,000 annually, and $75,000 in a private retirement fund.
I would like to offer my wife the following:
1. Transfer my college education fund ($75,000) to our child.
2. Transfer 66% ($50,000) of my private retirement fund to my wife.
3. Pay for my wife's Elementary School Principal certification (cost $5,000-$10,000)
I think that would leave my wife in a pretty good position in life. A good career, a decent retirement fund, and not having to worry about financing her child's college education.
My wife, on the other hand, has said that she wants the following:
1. Transfer my college education fund ($75,000) to our child.
2. Transfer 50% ($37,500) of my private retirement fund to my wife.
3. Give up 50% ($15,000 annually) of my government retirement to my wife.
I think her demand puts me in a very difficult position. I can't go back to college or attempt to start my dream career with only $15,000 a year in expected retirement from the government. Especially NOT if I have no college fund left.
It makes me almost want to quit my government job right now and start using my college fund to pursue my dream career. Why waste another minute on this dead-end career with little reward when I can pursue my dreams instead? That would unfortunately leave our child without a college fund.
I think my offer will leave both of us (and our child) in a pretty good position for our future lives while her offer only seems to serve her interests and leaves me up the creek without a paddle.
What do you think? Are my offer the most reasonable or is it my wife's?
I did not include the house or our personal property. She can have all of it if she assumes the bills. It's not worth fighting for.
I'm in my early 40s and heading toward the end of my government career and will have to retire in five years. Afterwards, I will have to go back to school and/or start a new career. I stayed in my job to support my wife and daughter despite it not being what I wanted to work with. I'm dreaming about finally being able to do something I want to do. The chance of follow my dream career instead of being a low-level bureaucrat in some stuffy government agency.
My wife have just started her teaching career at the age of 40. The first ten years I allowed her to follow her dreams of starting up her own business (failed) and getting a couple of college degrees. She have three degrees now (two Bachelors, one Master) in addition to her teaching certificate). She wants to pursue a certification for Elementary School Principal.
I'm the only one who have been able to save up money and get some retirement benefits. I have a College Education fund worth $75,000, a future government retirement worth $30,000 annually, and $75,000 in a private retirement fund.
I would like to offer my wife the following:
1. Transfer my college education fund ($75,000) to our child.
2. Transfer 66% ($50,000) of my private retirement fund to my wife.
3. Pay for my wife's Elementary School Principal certification (cost $5,000-$10,000)
I think that would leave my wife in a pretty good position in life. A good career, a decent retirement fund, and not having to worry about financing her child's college education.
My wife, on the other hand, has said that she wants the following:
1. Transfer my college education fund ($75,000) to our child.
2. Transfer 50% ($37,500) of my private retirement fund to my wife.
3. Give up 50% ($15,000 annually) of my government retirement to my wife.
I think her demand puts me in a very difficult position. I can't go back to college or attempt to start my dream career with only $15,000 a year in expected retirement from the government. Especially NOT if I have no college fund left.
It makes me almost want to quit my government job right now and start using my college fund to pursue my dream career. Why waste another minute on this dead-end career with little reward when I can pursue my dreams instead? That would unfortunately leave our child without a college fund.
I think my offer will leave both of us (and our child) in a pretty good position for our future lives while her offer only seems to serve her interests and leaves me up the creek without a paddle.
What do you think? Are my offer the most reasonable or is it my wife's?
I did not include the house or our personal property. She can have all of it if she assumes the bills. It's not worth fighting for.
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