I'm going to try to make this short and sweet.
When my husband and I were expecting our first child, we wanted to announce our pregnancy in a fun way. It was our in-laws wedding anniversary and we had them and my husbands sister over for a visit. We gave them a gift for their anniversary to open, it was a ultrasound picture of our baby in a frame. They loved it. Sadly, instead of my sister in law being happy for us, she made a rude comment. "I would've appreciated if you let me know first." Her and her husband have not been able to get pregnant yet, but have been trying for a long time. As I sympathize with them, I also feel like our life does not revolve around them and we should be excited. Throughout my pregnancy we were very careful not to seem over joyed around them, because we did not want to upset them. Early in my pregnancy I had complications and I was suppose to miscarry. I was very upset. Also, my husband had just deployed overseas, I was very stressed as well. They made a few comments to me. I sh ouldn't talk about the pregnancy to everyone because its making everyone upset, so I stopped. Luckily today I have a very healthy 3 year old son.
My husband was home in between deployments, we were in Vegas for business. Our family lives in Florida so we were pretty far away from home. We found out we were expecting again, this time we announced it via skype to both parents and his sister. Of course the in laws were happy but when we announced it to his sister, they couldn't even crack a smile. They just said congrats and nothing else. It was so cold and uncomfortable.
We are expecting baby number 3 and as much as I don't want to care I do. I care about their feelings even though I don't feel like they take our feelings in consideration. I'm a little torn on letting them know first. My husband is still in Afghanistan, so announcing it makes it that much harder.
To give a little bit of background about his sister and husband. It's not that they are bad people, but they can be a little selfish. I guess we all can. They decided to foster in hopes to adopt. They fostered two beautiful girls who we all fell in love with. It was sudden, one day she gets a call and says we have two kids for you to foster. She was not ready at all. The only thing she did have ready was a baby room, she had it set up in hopes to get pregnant. She took them in, but was overwhelmed she had no extra money, pay check to pay check, no toys, no clothes, nothing. That day I went out and spent 500.00 on toys, diapers, clothes, shoes, etc. I did it for the girls. They came from a home with one toy. I was heartbroken for them. They've had them for almost a year and it's t time for them to be given back to their biological mother. I am so proud of my sister in law, not many people can do what they have done. But that being said, they liked the idea of fo od stamps, financial assistance, school paid for etc. They want to adopt from the state, because the state will pay for their child. She said to me she was actually worried about getting pregnant, because she'd rather adopt for that reason.
I understand it is hard for her, I can't imagine. But I also feel like we should be able to celebrate our pregnancies and not feel guilty. It's difficult to hear such negative comments, especially since we've tried to be considerate of their feelings. Anyway, I don't want to hurt their feelings but I also want to be able to celebrate with my family. Any advice is appreciated. Thank You
When my husband and I were expecting our first child, we wanted to announce our pregnancy in a fun way. It was our in-laws wedding anniversary and we had them and my husbands sister over for a visit. We gave them a gift for their anniversary to open, it was a ultrasound picture of our baby in a frame. They loved it. Sadly, instead of my sister in law being happy for us, she made a rude comment. "I would've appreciated if you let me know first." Her and her husband have not been able to get pregnant yet, but have been trying for a long time. As I sympathize with them, I also feel like our life does not revolve around them and we should be excited. Throughout my pregnancy we were very careful not to seem over joyed around them, because we did not want to upset them. Early in my pregnancy I had complications and I was suppose to miscarry. I was very upset. Also, my husband had just deployed overseas, I was very stressed as well. They made a few comments to me. I sh ouldn't talk about the pregnancy to everyone because its making everyone upset, so I stopped. Luckily today I have a very healthy 3 year old son.
My husband was home in between deployments, we were in Vegas for business. Our family lives in Florida so we were pretty far away from home. We found out we were expecting again, this time we announced it via skype to both parents and his sister. Of course the in laws were happy but when we announced it to his sister, they couldn't even crack a smile. They just said congrats and nothing else. It was so cold and uncomfortable.
We are expecting baby number 3 and as much as I don't want to care I do. I care about their feelings even though I don't feel like they take our feelings in consideration. I'm a little torn on letting them know first. My husband is still in Afghanistan, so announcing it makes it that much harder.
To give a little bit of background about his sister and husband. It's not that they are bad people, but they can be a little selfish. I guess we all can. They decided to foster in hopes to adopt. They fostered two beautiful girls who we all fell in love with. It was sudden, one day she gets a call and says we have two kids for you to foster. She was not ready at all. The only thing she did have ready was a baby room, she had it set up in hopes to get pregnant. She took them in, but was overwhelmed she had no extra money, pay check to pay check, no toys, no clothes, nothing. That day I went out and spent 500.00 on toys, diapers, clothes, shoes, etc. I did it for the girls. They came from a home with one toy. I was heartbroken for them. They've had them for almost a year and it's t time for them to be given back to their biological mother. I am so proud of my sister in law, not many people can do what they have done. But that being said, they liked the idea of fo od stamps, financial assistance, school paid for etc. They want to adopt from the state, because the state will pay for their child. She said to me she was actually worried about getting pregnant, because she'd rather adopt for that reason.
I understand it is hard for her, I can't imagine. But I also feel like we should be able to celebrate our pregnancies and not feel guilty. It's difficult to hear such negative comments, especially since we've tried to be considerate of their feelings. Anyway, I don't want to hurt their feelings but I also want to be able to celebrate with my family. Any advice is appreciated. Thank You
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