I married my highschool sweetheart, 20 years after the fact, but we have been in love since forever. My husband is caring, dotes on me like crazy, cuddles, rubs me, draws me baths, help with the chores, would do anything I asked except sex.
He has explained that sex to him is mechanical he does not equate love to sex and often times finds the energy involved to go into sex not worth it and would much rather just cuddle or watch a movie.
I have a normal-high sex drive, I would prefer to have some form of sexual intimacy at least everyday but he said that is excessive and selfish (even though often times that intimacy is me releasing him). He has no objection to me getting him off with hand or mouth. He has a hard time ejaculating, circumstances have to be perfect either motion the same, stimuli present, it always takes work. He rarely will ever initiate and most of the time when I do he turns me down "I'm too tired, I'm too stressed".
However he has no problem watching porn and masterbating, even though I don't think its as normally high as most guys, he probably does that once a week or maybe two.
I get his libido is declining, and he's probably never really had a high drive to begin with. He is content being in relationships with limited sex events. He can wait months for it and be fine.
I take this very personally, my first husband couldn't keep his hands off me, and I'm constantly getting hit on by guys in my field. It breaks my heart that my husband doesn't even flinch when I take my clothes off. He tells me I am so beautiful, I look good, but it honestly feels like my brother or cousin saying it to me. I feel like he's not attracted to me in any way and the sex he does muster up to do with me is obligatory and compulsory.
I am at a loss. I've tried to talk to him about this but he gets very angry, or he flat out says this is the way I am take it or leave it. He would much rather masterbate and release than have to go through all the hassles of sex. There is nothing he can do to change this. So, knowing that he's uncomfortable with sex I will just get him off so at least he's having the pleasure of orgasm because I believe this is healthy for any human being, but he doesn't even turn over and return the favor.
I cry every night now, I can't believe that the love of my life and a truly amazing husband in every other way is leaving me in the cold like this. I don't know what my options are. I feel so alone and broken. I can't even disclose to him how hurt I am about this because I don't want to bring stress on him. I think if I lost my ability to have sex would I want my partner to stress me out constantly about it, no. So I'm turning to this place to vent my frustrations and hopefully find some guidance to help me.
He has explained that sex to him is mechanical he does not equate love to sex and often times finds the energy involved to go into sex not worth it and would much rather just cuddle or watch a movie.
I have a normal-high sex drive, I would prefer to have some form of sexual intimacy at least everyday but he said that is excessive and selfish (even though often times that intimacy is me releasing him). He has no objection to me getting him off with hand or mouth. He has a hard time ejaculating, circumstances have to be perfect either motion the same, stimuli present, it always takes work. He rarely will ever initiate and most of the time when I do he turns me down "I'm too tired, I'm too stressed".
However he has no problem watching porn and masterbating, even though I don't think its as normally high as most guys, he probably does that once a week or maybe two.
I get his libido is declining, and he's probably never really had a high drive to begin with. He is content being in relationships with limited sex events. He can wait months for it and be fine.
I take this very personally, my first husband couldn't keep his hands off me, and I'm constantly getting hit on by guys in my field. It breaks my heart that my husband doesn't even flinch when I take my clothes off. He tells me I am so beautiful, I look good, but it honestly feels like my brother or cousin saying it to me. I feel like he's not attracted to me in any way and the sex he does muster up to do with me is obligatory and compulsory.
I am at a loss. I've tried to talk to him about this but he gets very angry, or he flat out says this is the way I am take it or leave it. He would much rather masterbate and release than have to go through all the hassles of sex. There is nothing he can do to change this. So, knowing that he's uncomfortable with sex I will just get him off so at least he's having the pleasure of orgasm because I believe this is healthy for any human being, but he doesn't even turn over and return the favor.
I cry every night now, I can't believe that the love of my life and a truly amazing husband in every other way is leaving me in the cold like this. I don't know what my options are. I feel so alone and broken. I can't even disclose to him how hurt I am about this because I don't want to bring stress on him. I think if I lost my ability to have sex would I want my partner to stress me out constantly about it, no. So I'm turning to this place to vent my frustrations and hopefully find some guidance to help me.
Put the internet to work for you.
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