Some time back, I spent a lot of time here while I was watching my marriage disintegrate... and my bad responses to things.
But this isn't about that.
Three months ago, my wife and I set about to move across the country. We moved from a west coast state to near Chicago, she's now a full time university student, studying to become a naturopath doctor (ND).
We sold almost everything we owned, and I gave up my business, leased it out to someone else. I sold all my pet projects (frankly, it was all but 'giving them away', and we left the kids behind, and now it's just the two of us, living in the burbs (instead of our rural life before).
We only brought one vehicle out with us, so I had to fly back and get the other. I drove the 1900+ miles in just two days. I had a long time to think all by myself.
I'm feeling more than a little lost. What was me was expressed in my trucks, my business, my friends, and the awesome beauty of where we lived, and I'm feeling... Well, I don't know what.
Like I suddenly had a large part of the meaning of and interests in my life ripped away and there's nothing but a big hole left. Nothing we did, none of my hobbies or projects or "things I want to do" now exist. The wife is on a trimester plan, where there's 3 breaks a year of two weeks or so. Other than individual holidays, she's chained here. As soon as I get to working (it'll be for myself) I'll have to work 10+ hour days 5-6 days a week to make ends meet at all.
Even the deaths of my parents weren't this much of a change in my life. And I don't know how to get back to being a whole person again. The things that interest me, I cannot do, at least not for the next 5 years or so, until we're done here and head back out west. My hobbies we have no room for, no means of engaging in at all. Going out 4x4 through the mountains, camping, hiking in the mountains, project cars... All gone and can't have them.
I can't talk about it to anyone, I don't know a soul here. And, I really have little to no time to get to know anyone. And being an introvert doesn't help, either. My wife is swamped with school and eventually, a few days of work a month, I really need to hold up and hold it together for her.
Anyone have suggestions or advice? I don't even know what this is called or what I should be feeling or doing.
But this isn't about that.
Three months ago, my wife and I set about to move across the country. We moved from a west coast state to near Chicago, she's now a full time university student, studying to become a naturopath doctor (ND).
We sold almost everything we owned, and I gave up my business, leased it out to someone else. I sold all my pet projects (frankly, it was all but 'giving them away', and we left the kids behind, and now it's just the two of us, living in the burbs (instead of our rural life before).
We only brought one vehicle out with us, so I had to fly back and get the other. I drove the 1900+ miles in just two days. I had a long time to think all by myself.
I'm feeling more than a little lost. What was me was expressed in my trucks, my business, my friends, and the awesome beauty of where we lived, and I'm feeling... Well, I don't know what.
Like I suddenly had a large part of the meaning of and interests in my life ripped away and there's nothing but a big hole left. Nothing we did, none of my hobbies or projects or "things I want to do" now exist. The wife is on a trimester plan, where there's 3 breaks a year of two weeks or so. Other than individual holidays, she's chained here. As soon as I get to working (it'll be for myself) I'll have to work 10+ hour days 5-6 days a week to make ends meet at all.
Even the deaths of my parents weren't this much of a change in my life. And I don't know how to get back to being a whole person again. The things that interest me, I cannot do, at least not for the next 5 years or so, until we're done here and head back out west. My hobbies we have no room for, no means of engaging in at all. Going out 4x4 through the mountains, camping, hiking in the mountains, project cars... All gone and can't have them.
I can't talk about it to anyone, I don't know a soul here. And, I really have little to no time to get to know anyone. And being an introvert doesn't help, either. My wife is swamped with school and eventually, a few days of work a month, I really need to hold up and hold it together for her.
Anyone have suggestions or advice? I don't even know what this is called or what I should be feeling or doing.
Put the internet to work for you.
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