Hey guys,
Basically, I broke up with my BF in January and I moved out of his house. I moved in to this house share full of students; 2other girls and a couple. For 7 months I lived in that house I spent a good time with the couple; we cooked and watched films together. I have a car so I usually picked the guy up after he finished his shift around midnight. Things were absolutely fine for 7 months. Now in the summer, his GF went on holiday with her family for 2 months and he lived alone at the other house; again he was not meant to be living there and had so much problems with landlord. He tried to keep in touch with his GF but she was too busy having fun with her friends and family she always denied staying up a bit later just to talk to him. According to him, she was very mean. Every time he told her about the problems he was having she would say nasty things and acted like she didn't care.
One day he got locked out of his house and asked if he could stay round mine. He told me all the stories about landlord and I thought that since I was living alone in my new house anyway I offered him to move his stuffs and stay at mine till he can find a better place. We moved all of his and his GF stuffs to mine and at the beginning it was fine. Eventually we started watching films together and fell asleep in the same bed. He became so ill so I had to look after him, I read book to him, feeding him and eventually we were getting closer and closer. At the same time he was already made up with his GF.
Every time we watched films, we snuggled and for multiple times we ended up making out. We didn't have sex or anything, not even kissed but we did everything that that would lead up to that. Most of the time I stopped first because I knew it was wrong thing to be doing. Towards the end of the 3 weeks, he kept saying he will miss snuggling and spending time with me. He repetitively said he is sad that we would never get to do this ever again. He said he really likes me and really adores me. Many morning that I woke up because he repetitively kissed me on my neck. For 3 weeks, we acted like we were together. Note that this was all happening when we already made up with his GF.
Then his GF came back and at the same time my ex-BF wants to get back with me. I got back with my ex-BF and he made up with his GF. When I spent time with my BF I just don't feel like I am into him as much as I did before. I cannot stop thinking about him. I spent time with him and his GF a lot of time and even his GF saw the chemistry and said 'we both could be amazing together'. We both denied that and pretended that it was not awkward. We have been pretending nothing ever happened between us. His GF never knew he had been spending time with me. She doesn't care about whatever the hell happened to him in the 3 weeks after he got locked out of his house and fought with landlord. She had been telling me she doesn't care if she is going to be single now, if the relationship works then good if not then not good.
I have not had a chance to talk to him that much but he works at this fast food place in town where I have been going at least 3-4 times a week since 2 years ago. Every time I went there, he would repetitively said I am beautiful and told all his colleagues that I look beautiful. He asked me to come round to his house so that we could spend time together. I went, and he came home and tried to get me to stay longer to have pizzas. Which I rejected because I needed to go see my BF.
I got back with my BF partly because I knew nothing would ever happen between me and the guy and also because I still have feelings for my BF. I don't love the guy, and everyone told me it is not love it is simply sexual attraction and everyone tends to overthink after spending time with someone for a period of time.
Right now, I have just been pretending like nothing ever happened between us. And he pretended like her never cheated on his GF.
I really need to move on with my life, and make it work with my BF but I just cant seem to stop thinking about him in that way. What to do? :(
PS. I know I am such a horrible person. :(
Basically, I broke up with my BF in January and I moved out of his house. I moved in to this house share full of students; 2other girls and a couple. For 7 months I lived in that house I spent a good time with the couple; we cooked and watched films together. I have a car so I usually picked the guy up after he finished his shift around midnight. Things were absolutely fine for 7 months. Now in the summer, his GF went on holiday with her family for 2 months and he lived alone at the other house; again he was not meant to be living there and had so much problems with landlord. He tried to keep in touch with his GF but she was too busy having fun with her friends and family she always denied staying up a bit later just to talk to him. According to him, she was very mean. Every time he told her about the problems he was having she would say nasty things and acted like she didn't care.
One day he got locked out of his house and asked if he could stay round mine. He told me all the stories about landlord and I thought that since I was living alone in my new house anyway I offered him to move his stuffs and stay at mine till he can find a better place. We moved all of his and his GF stuffs to mine and at the beginning it was fine. Eventually we started watching films together and fell asleep in the same bed. He became so ill so I had to look after him, I read book to him, feeding him and eventually we were getting closer and closer. At the same time he was already made up with his GF.
Every time we watched films, we snuggled and for multiple times we ended up making out. We didn't have sex or anything, not even kissed but we did everything that that would lead up to that. Most of the time I stopped first because I knew it was wrong thing to be doing. Towards the end of the 3 weeks, he kept saying he will miss snuggling and spending time with me. He repetitively said he is sad that we would never get to do this ever again. He said he really likes me and really adores me. Many morning that I woke up because he repetitively kissed me on my neck. For 3 weeks, we acted like we were together. Note that this was all happening when we already made up with his GF.
Then his GF came back and at the same time my ex-BF wants to get back with me. I got back with my ex-BF and he made up with his GF. When I spent time with my BF I just don't feel like I am into him as much as I did before. I cannot stop thinking about him. I spent time with him and his GF a lot of time and even his GF saw the chemistry and said 'we both could be amazing together'. We both denied that and pretended that it was not awkward. We have been pretending nothing ever happened between us. His GF never knew he had been spending time with me. She doesn't care about whatever the hell happened to him in the 3 weeks after he got locked out of his house and fought with landlord. She had been telling me she doesn't care if she is going to be single now, if the relationship works then good if not then not good.
I have not had a chance to talk to him that much but he works at this fast food place in town where I have been going at least 3-4 times a week since 2 years ago. Every time I went there, he would repetitively said I am beautiful and told all his colleagues that I look beautiful. He asked me to come round to his house so that we could spend time together. I went, and he came home and tried to get me to stay longer to have pizzas. Which I rejected because I needed to go see my BF.
I got back with my BF partly because I knew nothing would ever happen between me and the guy and also because I still have feelings for my BF. I don't love the guy, and everyone told me it is not love it is simply sexual attraction and everyone tends to overthink after spending time with someone for a period of time.
Right now, I have just been pretending like nothing ever happened between us. And he pretended like her never cheated on his GF.
I really need to move on with my life, and make it work with my BF but I just cant seem to stop thinking about him in that way. What to do? :(
PS. I know I am such a horrible person. :(
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