Marriage in trouble

Hello, My name is Nicole. I am having one of those days where I just need someone to talk to, and another persons perspective. My husband and I have been married for 5 years, together for 7 years total, and we have two small children. Well long story short, I have made some mistakes that he is having a very hard time getting past. Most of our marriage, well the past 4 years things took a change for us. I guess being so young married with a small child, we put our marriage on the back burner. Never knew how much work we should have been putting into it. Now, it's like were roommates, and I feel like I'm walking around my home on egg shells. He wants to make the marriage better, but doesn't want to put in any effort. I spend much of my day researching marriage advice, things to help our marriage improve. There is no passion, no touch, no kissing, were just here together. He refuses to take any part in putting in effort, when he knows I need him and his help. After my mistakes, he just doesn't feel the need to try. I'm at my point where I don't know what to do, and I don't want to get a divorce. He throws that word out a lot, and I'm sure that he is wanting one, but then he's not sure. I try talking to him, a lot, and he just ignores me or my questions I have. I cry almost every day, and he doesn't care. In fact, he gets angry when I cry. He simply just doesn't care. I feel like a part of me dead almost, like I have to force a smile. He really does make me happy and I just want to feel loved again and be held. I guess I'm asking to much after mistakes made. I don't want to lose him, but I honestly have no idea how to help us alone, when being ignored. He says the cruelest things to me, puts me down and that's not how it is supposed to be. Please give me some advice.

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