The menopausal Va-Jay-Jay; What this Husband learned

Anon Pink asked me to start a thread on menopause and husbands, the title was her idea. My wife realized 5 months ago that the estrogen left the building. We're fortunate it hasn't been too rough on her. Just 1 hot flash. The biggest issue was a few months of night sweats (during winter) and her sex drive has dropped off. Yes, I know there's a lot more going on and I try to be supportive (not always easy). I'm not sure exactly sure learned is the right word but I liked the title. But I'm going to share my experience with my BIL next time I see him, my wife's sister is a few years younger. Here it is. Don't freak out. I did, I thought I'd never have sex again. The sex won't necessarily stop. Don't be whiney and needy. Don't pressure her. Now is not a time to make your self unattractive. That's not going help. My wife is way more sensitive and put off by unattractive behavior now. Don't try to "fix" her "condition". I went crazy googling and making suggestions. She resented that and stopped talking about it for a while. But also don't assume she knows a lot about it. My wife was always very orgasmic and we make sure she cums first. But nowadays that just doesn't always happen. It doesn't happen from PiV anymore (used to 80%+) and sometimes she doesn't even want to try oral. I'm getting over that but it's not always easy. (SA's recent thread.) But just because she doesn't O doesn't mean she doesn't like it. She also said she felt I pressured her to cum, I'm trying to avoid that. She used to be naturally luberific, not anymore. Even with lube the sex was painful for a while, no wonder she wasn't that in to it. We needed to try different lubes until we found something that works for us (http://sliquidorganics.com/). And lube isn't optional, even for oral. She has said she will meet my needs (we had several talks) but it's tough when she's not that into it. I need to get over that. I need get over my, so far, unwarranted fear of rejection or duty sex. She does enjoy it and enjoys pleasing me. In the past the sex just happened now I need to make it happen. This where I'm kind of at now. I'm also going to give my BIL my copy of No, It's Not Hot In Here, A Husbands Guide to Menopause by D!ck Roth, I wish I had read before hand. What are your experiences? Once the hormones settle down is it likely her drive will come back? At least somewhat?

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