Marriage advice please!

I just found this site after looking online for help for my situation. I see so much great advice given here. I'm having trouble deciding where to begin. My husband and I have been married for over seven years. We have two young children. I feel like my husband does not value our family as much as I do. He is gone a lot. He has had a job for eight years. He is paid well below "normal" for his field. He is constantly complaining about his job, but refuses to even look for a new one. He tells me to look, apply, and follow up on jobs FOR HIM. If I don't do it, he won't. He has had two raises (this includes cost of living!) in eight years. He doesn't make enough for us to live on, but refuses to put our children in daycare. We both love the idea of me staying home with the kids, but I'm not sure where he thinks the money is going to come from. I opened a home daycare at one point to earn an income and take care of our children, but after having our second child, I had terrible post partum depression and had to close. I now take care of two friend's children and it's working out ok. The problem is that he's gone 12 hours a day 5-6 days a week. He works 55 miles away. I'm alone all the time. I do 90% of the housework, earn a full time income, do ALL things related to the children, pay the bills, do all the cooking, grocery shopping, and meal planning. I have to beg him to mow the lawn. He has countless hobbies and goes out with friends often. I feel like if a member of his family or a friend needs him, he's there giving it 100%, but when it comes us, he drags his feet. He also drinks excessively and spends a lot of money we don't have on hobbies and alcohol. The bottom line is that he's home for just a couple of waking hours each day and MAYBE one full weekend day if I'm lucky. Most nights he doesn't even see our children. He is making no efforts to change this. I "work" full time AND take care of the house and children full time and would like to feel like I have a partner. I've been talking to him about this until I'm blue in the face. I had such a hard time from doing everything after I had my second child that I had to go on medication for depression and anxiety. I'm feeling burnt out and alone. I don't know what to do. There is obviously so much more to this story, and I'm so sorry if this sounds crazy and jumbled, but it was the best way to get it out there. :-) Any questions and advice are welcomed. Thank you.

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