I turned in to the same person I despise

Sorry this could get lengthy. I was legally married to my same sex partner in 2008, and prior to that we had already been together for 11 years. Are relationship had always been less then perfect, and she loved every chance she got to put me down. She was always in competion with my children for my attention, and didnt want me to excel in any in life I believe out of fear I would leave. She had cheated on me many times with different people prior to us getting married (I know dumb I still married her). Four years ago she started acting strange and never would come home. One day she said that she could not take being with me anymore, and that she was going to stay in a hotel. Well good old facebook, I received a call from my sister wanting to know why my wifes status went from married to in a relationship. It was then that I found out that she had rented an apartment with this other women, after she had told me weeks prior that she lost her part of the rent money. Needless to say I was devistated. I cried everyday, and thought my life was over. After a couple of months friends try to set me up on dates but I refused, because I couldnt get over the fact that I still wanted to remain a loyal wife. For months and months I allowed her to come back in hopes each time she would stay. But she just went back and forth. Finally she called me one night and asked to come home for good, and I allowed her to. BIGGEST MISTAKE! The mistake was on my part. Of course she apologized and promised to never disrespect me or our marriage again. I was in momentary bliss, I had felt like my life was back in the right direction. But it was not. I could not emotionally get over what she had done to me, I felt she left me there to die for her own selfish reasons. And eventually she proved that she would never change, I dont know if she continued to have sex with other women. But the disrespect remained, she talked inappropriately with other women still. Everyday I regreted my decision to allow her to come back. One because she put stipulations on her return, I had to lose weight, I had to find a better job, and we had to have sex more often. This is where I turn in to the person I hate-on superbowl sunday I went to a friends party that I had not seen or spoke to in two years. And this beautiful women walks in and I was instantly in awww over her. We started seeing one another and eventually I decided to leave my wife. I did not disclose that I was seeing anyone, but we started making arrangements for me to move out, and how things would be divided. The weekend of April 29th my wife went to Nevada to visit family, and I choose that weekend to move. Of course I knew she was going to be hurt, or at least I thought. When she returned the same day I moved out, she brought back her 19 year old girlfriend she had been talking to on facebook for a while. The moral of my story is, that no matter what my wife did to me in the past know one ever deserves to be cheated on. I have no exuce for what I did. But I know that I made the best choice for me. And I think that she is just as happy as I am. As soon as our divorce is final, my 34 year old wife is going to marry her 19 year old girlfriend. And I am happy for them, except that they have done horrible things to make my life a living hell. It was long over due for me to move on, but I could of handled it differently. Everyday I have to live with my actions. And all though I am much happier, I hate that I became a liar and a cheat to fullfill my own selfish needs. If I had of been true to myself in the begining I could of walked away 100% free of my actions.

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