I kissed my boyfriend's best friend...

I met my boyfriend through a mutual friend -- I will call him "Sam" -- who, way before I came to know my boyfriend, used to like me. "Sam" was a decent enough friend (of mine) at first, but I gradually realised he wanted to have sex with me. I was single, naive, stupid, whatever you want to call it. I put that down to having grown up in a very sheltered home prior to going to Uni -- had no idea how to navigate the world (this isn't a justification). So on occasion we did kiss a few times -- shame on me. Once, when I was outrageously drunk, he kissed me and tried quite forcefully to make me agree to sex. I know it takes two to tango, but I was single and stupid and drunk and so probably didn't make enough of an effort to push him off when he kissed me. When he tried other stuff, however, I was very vocal and told him to get off. The "friendship" (so-called) should have ended there, but (as I said) I was stupid, and also naive. Eventually met "Sam"'s best friend. He was amazing. We hung out alone for a month, eventually ended up in a relationship. I was up-front from the very beginning -- I told him that I had a "history" of sorts with his best friend (I'm referring to having kissed him). He didn't mind. Now it's different -- now he cares a lot. He always brings it up. I had never kissed anyone before Uni -- and I hate saying this, but "Sam" was my first. I don't like "Sam" at all. I don't find him attractive in the slightest, and he has an ugly personality. I was just naively relishing the attention when I met him, because I had never been considered attractive/good-looking at school and so it was all so new to me. Me and my boyfriend have been together for a year and two months, and I love him so much. I never met "Sam" again, but my boyfriend routinely does (since they're long-term best buds). My boyfriend is gorgeous, sexy, and he cares for me so much. How do I convince him that I love only him and that his best friend means nothing? I am ashamed of my first year at Uni because of this. I just want to know how "bad" what I did was. Am I as slaggy as I feel? I don't feel my boyfriend deserves a girl who kissed his best friend.

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