A rational conversation about divorce....

Does anyone have any tips on how to get my wife to have a rational conversation about divorce? We have been married for 21 years. I just don't love her anymore. I'm the one that wants out, my wife still thinks we can make it work. I have not told her that I don't love her, only that I don't know what I want....yes, I know that's not fair. Someone close to me has died recently and ever since I've been questioning everything in my life. I've come to the realization that I will not stay married simply to avoid starting over. Because of my recent loss, my wife has asked me to wait six months before we make a decision about divorce and I've agreed. When we have discussed the possibility of divorce recently she immediately starts freaking out about finding divorce attorneys, and is generally unable to have a rational discussion. She thinks we can just file for divorce and that's the end of it. She refuses to think about child support, alimony, affording two households, or any of the other practical matters of divorce. I understand she's this way because of the emotion, but at some point there needs to be a rational, thoughtful, and intelligent conversation. How do I get her there?

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