I recently enter my 2nd marriage to a woman (both in our 50s) who appears to have major problems with money. Approx 1 month prior to our marriage, she informed me that she had 38K in credit card bills. Her car is paid off, but has no other assets. She informed me that she did not expect me to help her pay these credit card bills off. She claimed these bills were the result of her ex husband (but I doubt this now) She was renting an apartment, living alone, with her 2 dogs.
After we married, we moved into my house, which is almost paid off. She takes home about $2500 a month after all taxes, retirement, 401K and insurance is taken out of her check, contributes $200 towards utilities and approx $150 - $200 a month in groceries. I told her not to worry about any other house expenses and put everything else towards her credit card bills. Her other major bills are basically gas, medical bills, and her cell phone. I figured she would have at least $1500 in expendable income to pay her credit cards down, especially since I pay the bill the majority of times when we go out to dinner, or social activities. She makes approx 55K a year and I make about 65K. We keep our money separate (separate accounts for everything) except one joint account for house utilities. I decided this was the best action, based on her financial state. My vision for our future was to have her credit cards paid off in approx 2 years. My house would be paid off by then, we could buy some land together, sell my house, and I would contribute the income from the sale of my home to build our retirement home.
During our first year of marriage, I did not check to see if she was paying down her credit card bills, since I did not want to get drastically involved in her finances. When we sat down to review credit reports after 12 months of marriage, I found that she had not reduced her credit card balances at all, still holding about 38K on the total balances. Apparently she was paying payments and re-charging against the cards. After another nine months later (1 ¾ years into the marriage), I have discovered that she has paid off on some credit cards, but increased balances on others, even though she stated that the cards would not be used. She is still in debt about 37K, even though for the 18 months we have been married, she had approx 25K in expendable income to pay the credit card balances down. Don't ask me what she spent the money on, all I know it was not for my bills. I have talked to her several times about her credit card debts, but she gets upset and informs me that she is paying them off. In reality, she has had almost 2 years of expendable income, with no house payments or car payments from her salary, yet cant reduce the balances of her credits card substantially.
The financial situation seems to be getting worse. I just completed our taxes and found that my wife's take home pay increased about $175 a month for the 2014 year, thru changing her tax status from single to married, reducing her federal tax deductions from her paycheck. Even with this additional money, she has failed to reduce her credit card debt substantially, and we now have to pay uncle sam for taxes this year, instead of getting a refund.
I have always been very financially responsible, had little to no credit card debt, saved regularly, and have excellent credit. My wife is a loving person but I am at the point of making a major decision regarding the future of our marriage. I was especially disturbed when I recently took actions to update my will. I originally had my possessions and assets distributed to my 3 children, but updated my will to include my wife. I was shaken when my wife (who has no assets to speak of) stated that I should be leaving my entire estate to her, to support her, and nothing be awarded to my children until after her death. It was my belief, based on my wife's financial irresponsibility, that nothing would be left for my kids.
I know this probably paints a terrible picture of my wife, but she is a caring person, who cares for my youngest daughter (who lives with us) very much. She has spent some money for things around the house (curtains, blinds, some personal items for my daughter, etc) but it does not add up to a ton of money, not enough to support not reducing her credit card debt. I just believe that her financial behavior is a major issue. I recently had a friend who remarried in his 50s, and ended his marriage based on his wife's financial irresponsibility. There have been a few other bumps in the road lately with our marriage, I am just wondering if I should cut my losses and end the marriage, or stick with it and keep plugging at her money issues. I know the longer I stay in the marriage, the harder its gonna be to walk away.
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