Hi all, I´m new. In a bit of situation and I don´t know what to do.
Long story so I´ll try and keep it brief.
Orginally I´m from the UK, but 5 years ago I was working in Morocco where I met a wonderful Moroccon man. We fell in love but my work contract finished and I moved back to the UK. We stayed in a long distance relationship in separate countries while he finished his masters degree.
After two years we spoke of marriage and moving to live together, but there was an issue. He wanted to marry a Muslim woman and I was an atheist. I didn´t blame him, for a marriage to work, to raise kids etc I think parents need to be on the same religious wavelength. We broke up, but I was heavily depressed and felt I couldn´t live without him, so I started reading about Islam and became convinced. For a while I did genuinely believe Islam was the right way, so I converted and we married last May.
We moved to Spain together since I didn´t want to live in his country, and getting a spouse visa to the UK takes months.
Marriage so far seems perfect. He´s a fantastic husband, cooks cleans, works, treats me well, he takes care of himself, works out. He IS a wonderful man, I can´t find any fault with him. We have so much in common, my family love him, he loves my family. I´d probably be insane to throw away such a ´´happy´´ marriage with such a good man.
Problem is lately I´ve been feeling down. I´ve come to the realisation I´m not actually a Muslim, and no matter how hard Ive tried, I can´t force myself to believe in his religon any more. If my husband found out it would destroy him. Islamically, our marriage would no longer be valid. On a practical level, the marriage woulnd´t work. How can we have kids when dad believes one thing and mum says another?
I wanted to tell him but when I see how happy he is with me, how happy we are togehter, I just can´t. I can´t take his happiness away. I love him too much.
At the same time. I´m living a lie. He doesnñt make me pray or wear hijab, in fact other than muttering some arabic now and again, I barely practice Islam at all.
I have no problem against Islam. I just don´t believe in it.
I´ve been living this lie for some time now, don´t know why its just started to bother me now. I feel a bit depressed.
So yeah... wonderful husband. Can´t bear to destroy him. It´d destroy me too seeing him hurt. Do I just push this issue to the back of my mind and continue as nothing is happening?
Long story so I´ll try and keep it brief.
Orginally I´m from the UK, but 5 years ago I was working in Morocco where I met a wonderful Moroccon man. We fell in love but my work contract finished and I moved back to the UK. We stayed in a long distance relationship in separate countries while he finished his masters degree.
After two years we spoke of marriage and moving to live together, but there was an issue. He wanted to marry a Muslim woman and I was an atheist. I didn´t blame him, for a marriage to work, to raise kids etc I think parents need to be on the same religious wavelength. We broke up, but I was heavily depressed and felt I couldn´t live without him, so I started reading about Islam and became convinced. For a while I did genuinely believe Islam was the right way, so I converted and we married last May.
We moved to Spain together since I didn´t want to live in his country, and getting a spouse visa to the UK takes months.
Marriage so far seems perfect. He´s a fantastic husband, cooks cleans, works, treats me well, he takes care of himself, works out. He IS a wonderful man, I can´t find any fault with him. We have so much in common, my family love him, he loves my family. I´d probably be insane to throw away such a ´´happy´´ marriage with such a good man.
Problem is lately I´ve been feeling down. I´ve come to the realisation I´m not actually a Muslim, and no matter how hard Ive tried, I can´t force myself to believe in his religon any more. If my husband found out it would destroy him. Islamically, our marriage would no longer be valid. On a practical level, the marriage woulnd´t work. How can we have kids when dad believes one thing and mum says another?
I wanted to tell him but when I see how happy he is with me, how happy we are togehter, I just can´t. I can´t take his happiness away. I love him too much.
At the same time. I´m living a lie. He doesnñt make me pray or wear hijab, in fact other than muttering some arabic now and again, I barely practice Islam at all.
I have no problem against Islam. I just don´t believe in it.
I´ve been living this lie for some time now, don´t know why its just started to bother me now. I feel a bit depressed.
So yeah... wonderful husband. Can´t bear to destroy him. It´d destroy me too seeing him hurt. Do I just push this issue to the back of my mind and continue as nothing is happening?
Put the internet to work for you.
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