Is this guy interested in me?

There's a male stranger whom I see almost every morning and we go to the same college. I don't know if he's interested in me or not because he stares at me and when I catch him (I must have given him a cold glare - it's my neutral look unfortunately) he completely stops staring for weeks or months. And then I get curious 'why isn't he looking anymore' (I hate it, but I always get like this) so when I'm the one doing all the staring, he ignores me. But I've noticed when I ignore him, it's him doing all the staring. See, once I tried smiling at him and he started fidgeting with his hair, looking away, then back at me and then away and scratching the back of his ear and not looking in my direction. Why does he stare when I ignore him and ignore me when I stare? And when I smile he looks uncomfortable, which begs the question: why does he stare? If he doesn't like me, I wish he would stop staring but if he does, then I hope he would at least smile. Okay, I guess I can't put all this on him because I am often accused of looking moody all the time. I don't want to so und conceited but I also get told by a lot of people that I'm beautiful and strangers compliment me too, so maybe he thinks I'm unapproachable or something?. I'm shy though which is why I rarely smile. Yesterday I was somewhere [alone] and I saw him. I came, finished whatever I came to do and left. As I was leaving I casually looked over at him and caught him looking at me slyly lol. I'd like to think my mind wasn't playing tricks on me, but I could swear he was looking at me. He was leaning on his hands and pretending he was looking at the table but when I looked over at him, he was totally looking at me! It looked proper awkward though because the way he was leaning and where he was looking didn't fit. He was looking at me from one eye, the other eye was hidden from view (it looked weird but I found it cute). I smiled at him (it was a small smile, but still a smile) and he quickly looked away. What does this mean? Is he interested in me? Or am I over analyzing everything?

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What the heck is happening?

I don't know what is going on. On Monday night, H said he wanted to separate because he felt like I lied to his face and he "caught me". Honestly has been an ongoing challenge for me due to some family of origin issues. Our marriage has also been full of ongoing issues from the beginning. I have been in counseling with a marriage-focused therapist and I have never cheated and that has never been called into question. Mostly, its making decisions without consulting him and have an internal life that he deems "shady" because I don't share it with him. He also accuses me of being egocentric, impulsive and invalidating. I am not blameless and am getting help, but it is slow-going. He is angry and won't go to counseling. He says that counseling hurts him too much and the only reason I want him to go is to purposely cause him pain. He is also unwilling to acknowledge that a percentage of our dynamic is his responsibility and that his behavior is not always righteous. He is also paranoid and assigning malicious intent to my behavior and the behavior of others (co-workers, his step-mother). He told me I needed to find a new place to live, and that he didn't want to talk about the separation details again until after he finds out if he is getting a job interview this week. He asked me to sleep in the guest bedroom so he can sleep in "his" bed alone. We have a 3 yo child. The crazy thing, is that since he asked for the separation, he has been acting VERY differently. He made the bed, he went grocery shopping for himself (he won't eat anything I cook or sit down for meals with us), he is listening to music while working, he bought new bath products with a different fragrance. I don't know what to make of all this. He won't talk to me except to coordinate about our child, he doesn't say goodnight. Its like we are living as roommates with our child as the only connection. Where was all this independence and self-care while we were getting along? In the meantime, I have no idea if he still wants to separate. I can't sign a lease or make an offer on a house without a separation agreement and he has made that discussion off limits. I have little furniture, no place to go long-term. I don't know how long this will last and when it will be 'ok' to talk about the separation (when he is asked to an interview, after the interview, once he is offered/denied the job?). I am basically in this eternal holding pattern that seems hopelessly unfair. I have resisted bringing it up because I read somewhere that giving the person who asked for the separation what they want is important, but now it is beginning to feel like a power-play on his part.

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Need your thoughts with unanswered questions....

I have so many questions I need your opinions with. I have an issue with letting my guard down with WS because I felt during the marriages he was nice for a month or so after breakups, waited until things were copesthetic between us, then he went back into full swing with AP. Now that I am aware of OW existence, I am sure he is puzzled as to why we can't get copesthetic again, especially for the past 2 years of R and remarriage. I hate myself for believing his blanket statements like nothing happened and hers as well. I feel that their loyalties are to each other and their trust is unbreakable. He has lied to me in the name of God, has conducted his affair under the guise of being a Christian and she was the only woman he had ever prayed for that God would send her a good man because she couldn't find one. He is the greatest hypocrite I know. The level of deceit that it takes to carry on an 8 year relationship under my nose astounds me. I can't see him in a different light although he tries when I bring things to his attention ( which i shouldnt have to). My greatest struggle is the religious abuse and why he insists on staying married to me. They had their chance to marry and be together during our divorce. Why didn't they take it? Why did he remarry me if he knew he was not able to meet my needs (I thought he would) and obviously they met each other's for 8 years? He has mentioned that she insulted him by saying why he did not have more assets at his age (she's 7 years younger than him). Am I also wrong to believe that even if they started their friendship 6 years of our last marriage, and it went to the next levels after the divorce, that their sexual relationship is my business - since he continued seeing me during all of this? One OW called him a womanizer and she apparently called him a loser. He is fiercely protective of the long term OW and wrote her a dippy NC letter that I dumped. The real wrench came when I exposed her on cheaterville and showed her the hypocrite he really is by regurgitating the trickle truth he told me about her. I feel emotionally brutalized by both of them. I am checking into a lie detector test. I want to know where all the monies he had earned, went when I alone was managing the bills especially after she came into the picture. She is very tight lipped about their relationship. How can I get info from her after I had exposed her? I have info about her from google but nothing else. Is it wrong that I want to know what they were doing in my life for those 8 years? I have thought of befriending someone at her job but I am afraid that those things will backfire on me. She has threatened to sue me for harassment as well, the very first time I contacted her. I sometimes feel they have gone way underground since they were addicted to each other for 8 years. Posted via Mobile Device

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Decided to forgive my boyfriend for hitting me, but he's changed his number

I made this thread a couple of days ago (http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/show...064&highlight=) but I've decided to forgive him on the basis that we decide a way forward in terms of him dealing with his anger. I've tried calling him but it's saying that his number is not recognised. I left a voicemail for him, but he hasn't rung back. I'm so worried that he's changed his number. I went round his house and started shouting up at his window to come down but his housemate said he wasn't in. I don't believe her though, because she smirked at she said it. It just makes me angry because I'm the one making the effort for him and he does this. I don't know what to do.

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Boyfriend going off me?

Just recently I feel like our relationship is hitting a rough patch. Things were really great to start with, and I was so happy with him. However, recently we've been arguing a lot, usually around the time of the month, but it's always about pointless ****. Now it's only ever me who says 'I love you', and he doesn't want to spend as much time with me anymore. He is always tired from work, so when we do spend time together I often just feel in the way. He says he still wants to be with me, but he's not as happy as he was, and he blames all the little arguments, which he also blames on me. It's really getting me down and affecting our time together more. I'm worried if I talk to him about it, it will cause an argument again. What can I do?

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Attracted to a married work acquaintance

There is this woman at work I talk to often. She seems nice and is about a 7 out of 10 in looks terms. The thing is though, she is married (I saw her ring once) but I want to date her and bang her. "Morals" aside (I usually have no time for "morals" as I do my own thing in life) I'm torn. Should I get over it, or pursue?

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Are you Alpha or Beta?

Would you say you are alpha? Do you stand tall? Do you use eye contact? Do you stick to what you believe in? Do you stand by your decisions? Do you stand up for yourself at all times? Are you a non-pushover? Somebody will say "oh, alpha's don't matter, be yourself!" lol.. well, despite modern society saying gender constructs are *******s, they still expect men to be strong and in control. It's something innate to their psychology.

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Juicers?

I'm thinking about getting a juicer, just because there are so many healthy things you can make with them. And, when it's hot, I like to drink my breakfast. (Did't mean that the way it sounds.:) ) BUT they are very expensive and I'm not sure I am brave enough to drink something green. Any advice on juicers, recipes, or places I can try the "output" without investing in one first?

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Once you hate, is it possible to love again?

Once you start to feel hatred towards your spouse, is there any going back? Is there any way to love again or is it just done? I'm interested in hearing from people who can say they hate or have hated their spouse at one point.

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Role of a Wife in a Marriage??

My husband and I got married just 3 months ago and since then everything has changed. We are both Christians, but sometimes I feel as though he skewed what he believed to make me marry him. He has told me now that he doesn't believe in the whole Bible, only red letters. We had only known each other for about 9 months and I stupidly jumped into it quickly. I am expecting my first child next summer. When we first met, he had strict standards, but was so sweet, caring, GENTLE and loving that I didn't read the signs as controlling. Now, I am not allowed to see my friends because he doesn't like them and thinks they are bad to me so "he is looking out for me when I can't look out for myself." He dislikes my family (who is wonderful and have been amazing my entire life) and I can't visit them unless he is with me. Actually, I can't go anywhere with people unless he is with me. If he is home, I have to be home otherwise he blows up about how I am choosin g someone else over our marriage. He has told me I am now not allowed to wear makeup to work, deleted my facebook account, made me change my phone number, email account, throw away clothes/jewelry and delete all pictures from before we met. The worst part is his anger, it really scares me but I just dont know if I can raise a baby like this much less live life this way. If I tell him no or disagree with something he says in a nice way, he blows up and becomes violent, breaking my things, punching walls. Last time he got upset it was because my adult sisters and I use nicknames for each other. My sister's name is Marsha and we call her Marshes. He told me it was immature and it made me stupid. I nicely told him that I simply didn't see what the big deal was about it, my whole family is fun-loving and calls each other nicknames. He broke his hand in three places from punching a wall. He hasn't become violent with ME but his rage seems uncontrollable. He has started to see a counselor, but screamed at me when I suggested I see one too. I have told him how I feel and he says I'm just whining and I should grow up and that no one should be telling him what to do. He also will call me names then and tell me I just need to listen to him and learn my role as a wife. That is the biggest thing. It has come to the point where I have to ask permission to see a friend and if he says No I can't go to lunch with them (I have seen friends 1 time in the last 5 months) and I ask why then he says I need to be a submissive wife and I am just a fake Christian woman. I just feel that there is no negotiating or healthy communication with him. I have never raised my voice to him or had an attitude before in many ways I have let him control me which is humiliating and makes me feel completely worthless. However, today I finally told him very calmly and respectfully I can't take the control issues and feel unloved and disrespected. He told me to stop running my mouth and that I was being selfish and unsubmissive. After a long run around with that and him threatening divorce numerous times I just ended up saying "okay" so he wouldn't blow up. I just feel like he doesn't see where I'm coming from and I don't know how to communicate with him without him blowing up or calling me names. I also have a hard time just walking away when that happens because I feel bad. He has also been diagnosed with OCD, Anxiety Disorders and Major Depression so when I try discussing these relationship issues, he says, you know I have problems...Yes, I do know that, but I often feel like our life is lived accommodating them...help! I want to be a virtuous woman and Godly wife and I know what it means to submit, I'm not perfect but I strive to do my best through Christ. I feel like his idea of "roles" is a bit skewed, am I wrong?

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He Changed at "I Do"

My husband and I got married just 3 months ago and since then everything has changed. We had only known each other for about 9 months and I stupidly jumped into it. I am expecting my first child next summer. When we first met, he had strict standards, but was so sweet, caring, GENTLE and loving that I didn't read the signs as controlling. Now, I am not allowed to see my friends because he doesn't like them and thinks they are bad to me so "he is looking out for me when I can't look out for myself." He dislikes my family (who is wonderful and have been amazing my entire life) and I can't visit them unless he is with me. Actually, I can't go anywhere with people unless he is with me. If he is home, I have to be home otherwise he blows up about how I am choosing someone else over our marriage. He has told me I am now not allowed to wear makeup to work, deleted my facebook account, made me change my phone number, email account, throw away clothes/jewe lry and delete all pictures from before we met. The worst part is his anger, it really scares me but I just dont know if I can raise a baby like this much less live life this way. The terrible part is that this is my second marriage, I was in an incredibly abusive relationship before and I see this heading down that path. I feel terrible that I made this mistake and wonder how I was this blind a second time, but I know I'm not strong enough to handle this forever. The sad part is that he has two other children, one of whom the mother took away from him and I would feel horrible and wrong doing the same thing. I know that sounds irrational. He has times, weeks where he is sweet and kind toward me and we talk about the future and get excited, but deep down I know what the future looks like. I'm worried about him if I leave and worried about me and my unborn baby if I stay. Posting from Texas. I know I need to push back, but I'm scared to be quite honest. If I tell him no or disagree with something he says in a nice way, he blows up and becomes violent, breaking my things, punching walls. Last time he got upset it was because my adult sisters and I use nicknames for each other. My sister's name is Marsha and we call her Marshes. He told me it was immature and it made me stupid. I told him that I simply didn't see what the big deal was about it, my whole family is fun-loving and calls each other nicknames. He broke his hand in three places from punching a wall. He hasn't become violent with me but his rage seems uncontrollable. He has started to see a counselor, but screamed at me when I suggested I see one too. I have told him how I feel and he says I'm just whining and I should grow up and that no one should be telling him what to do. He also will call me names then and tell me I just need to listen to him and learn my role as a wife. I just feel that there is no negotiating or healthy communication with him. I have never raised my voice to him or had an attitude before, as you said, in many ways I have let him control me which is humiliating and makes me feel completely worthless. However, today I finally told him very calmly and respectfully I can't take the control issues and feel unloved and disrespected. He told me to stop running my mouth and that I was being selfish. After a long run around with that and him threatening divorce numerous times, he finally apologized and we are having a talk about it tonight. I just feel like he doesn't see where I'm coming from and I don't know how to communicate with him without him blowing up or calling me names. I also have a hard time just walking away when that happens because I feel bad. He has also been diagnosed with OCD, Anxiety Disorders and Major Depression so when I try discussing these relationship issues, he says, you know I have problems...Yes, I do know that, but I often feel like our life is lived accommodating them...help!:confused:

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He changed at "I do"

My husband and I got married just 3 months ago and since then everything has changed. We had only known each other for about 9 months and I stupidly jumped into it. I am expecting my first child next summer. When we first met, he had strict standards, but was so sweet, caring, GENTLE and loving that I didn't read the signs as controlling. Now, I am not allowed to see my friends because he doesn't like them and thinks they are bad to me so "he is looking out for me when I can't look out for myself." He dislikes my family (who is wonderful and have been amazing my entire life) and I can't visit them unless he is with me. Actually, I can't go anywhere with people unless he is with me. If he is home, I have to be home otherwise he blows up about how I am choosing someone else over our marriage. He has told me I am now not allowed to wear makeup to work, deleted my facebook account, made me change my phone number, email account, throw away clothes/jewe lry and delete all pictures from before we met. The worst part is his anger, it really scares me but I just dont know if I can raise a baby like this much less live life this way. The terrible part is that this is my second marriage, I was in an incredibly abusive relationship before and I see this heading down that path. I feel terrible that I made this mistake and wonder how I was this blind a second time, but I know I'm not strong enough to handle this forever. The sad part is that he has two other children, one of whom the mother took away from him and I would feel horrible and wrong doing the same thing. I know that sounds irrational. He has times, weeks where he is sweet and kind toward me and we talk about the future and get excited, but deep down I know what the future looks like. I'm worried about him if I leave and worried about me and my unborn baby if I stay. Posting from Texas. I know I need to push back, but I'm scared to be quite honest. If I tell him no or disagree with something he says in a nice way, he blows up and becomes violent, breaking my things, punching walls. Last time he got upset it was because my adult sisters and I use nicknames for each other. My sister's name is Marsha and we call her Marshes. He told me it was immature and it made me stupid. I told him that I simply didn't see what the big deal was about it, my whole family is fun-loving and calls each other nicknames. He broke his hand in three places from punching a wall. He hasn't become violent with me but his rage seems uncontrollable. He has started to see a counselor, but screamed at me when I suggested I see one too. I have told him how I feel and he says I'm just whining and I should grow up and that no one should be telling him what to do. He also will call me names then and tell me I just need to listen to him and learn my role as a wife. I just feel that there is no negotiating or healthy communication with him. I have never raised my voice to him or had an attitude before, as you said, in many ways I have let him control me which is humiliating and makes me feel completely worthless. However, today I finally told him very calmly and respectfully I can't take the control issues and feel unloved and disrespected. He told me to stop running my mouth and that I was being selfish. After a long run around with that and him threatening divorce numerous times, he finally apologized and we are having a talk about it tonight. I just feel like he doesn't see where I'm coming from and I don't know how to communicate with him without him blowing up or calling me names. I also have a hard time just walking away when that happens because I feel bad.:confused:

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Can't Sleep - Can't Stop Thinking

After nearly a month, I saw my husband today. No interaction. The OW was driving him to work - I was driving by. It didn't really affect me too much. I wasn't sad, angry, or hysterical. I just noticed them and said, "Well, there they go." In general, today (I say today, but I really mean Friday) has been pretty blah. I stayed home from work today because I am sick. Sickness always puts me in a generally crappy mood. Throughout this entire experience, I have never really been angry with him. I felt otherwise today, though. I just kept thinking, "How could he do this? He didn't even bother talking to me about anything, he just left." He never told me that he was thinking about leaving - he just did it. He didn't even tell me that I shouldn't bother buying him Christmas presents because I should save my money to pay bills since he would be dipping out on those, too. I have been lying in bed for the last hour and a half just thinking. Were they in my bed? While I was at work? In my car? My roommates bedroom? Are they both lying to his family or does his family really not care? Should I really want to R after all this? Will I even be able to? Do I really forgive him or is it just easier than being angry with him? Does he think about me? Does he miss me? Does he have any regrets? Why won't he just talk to me? How long do I have to wait? When will the idea of talking to other guys no longer make me sick to my stomach? Is it worth it? Can we really have something better and stronger than before? Why won't he just talk to me? Should I pack the rest of his things? Did he leave them here on purpose? Is he really planning on coming back or is that just something he said? I wish the OW would throw herself into the fiery pits of Mordor. You can read my story on my blog: My Journey to Self Discovery

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Is recovery possible from the thought of infidelity?

One of the issues my wife and I are dealing with is the thought I committed adultery. I cant prove it or disprove it either way, as I lied about the evidence she found. So, I have lost her trust amongst other things, and due to our rocky issues with my verbal abuse over the years that has caused her to lose her heart to me, is there anything I can do to save this marriage? I have another thread which explains more of the other issues and details onto her evidence found. But, this topic is to see if we can get through this serious issue I caused. here is a portion of what I posted in the other thread, as far as evidence "Things have turned for the worst here. All me and I dont think recovery is going to happen. To make a long story short, she found a couple things that point to affairs. Hard evidence. One was two escort contacts in my email. I did email them, but didnt follow through. And second, an ****** ******* subscription for credits. This allowed you to contact others. I did make the profile, and did buy the credits, but never contacted anyone. A year later, I receieved and email notice wanting to know if i was still around and I logged in and paid to cancel the membership. I never ever did anything wrong. But, Doing what I did is just as bad as going through with it, in her eyes. Rightfully so as she cant prove or disprove it. Lies are apart of this on my part, so her trust in me is very poor. I totally support her in the way she feels. I think I have some sort of issue with the feeling of getting caught, or pushing the envelope on whats right or wrong in this aspect. for two years I lived on the barracks 6000 miles away from my wife, and the immaturity of myself got the best of me. I can honestly say I did not have any affair during my entire marriage. I know I can feasibly prove it, but it is true. Regardless the damage is done. If there is any constructive advise, I am all ears."

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'Nice guys' and why they're not actually nice....

It has always confused me, this whole 'nice guy' thing. I'm nice so you should go out with me, I'm nice so why have you friend-zoned me...Ha, makes me laugh. Nice guys aren't actually nice are they? Lets be honest, the common traits you'd associate with a nice guy are: Pushy? Insecure? Clingy? Over complimentary? Of course not all, but these are just some of the traits which a nice guy might have. Now correct me if I'm wrong, but since when did a guy being pushy become nice? When did a clingy guy become nice? It doesn't make sense.... And it's not woman are attracted to bad guys, it's just the bad guy usually possess the traits a woman likes, spontaneity/Funny/Outgoing (Extrovert) and so on..... So next time you see a hot girl with a mediocre looking guy who wears glasses amd studies in the library all the time, have a think that just MAYBE that guy has the traits of the typical bad guy, that's my take on it. Anyway, none of this really matter to be fair, just be yourself. Trying to be something you're not is EASY... for a while, then the act is hard to maintain, just like lying... :)

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