We've been married for 8 years and I've always had to be the financially stable/responsible one and my husband has not. He did real estate/mortgages and supported himself relatively well for a number of years before we were married but then the housing bubble burst. So our first year of marriage he moved into my 1 bedroom apt made only about $6,000 that year while I coutinued to work at my job as I had always done making just under $40,000/year. I basically paid for everything except his car insurance and credit card bills. I tried to encourage him to go out and get a job but he was always "working on deals in the pipeline that when they closed I could just quit my job and he would take care of me". That didn't happen. Year 2: we bought a house with my savings as down payment and moved to a new state. He promised me if we bought a house he would get any job to help pay for it. He did get a job but the first 6 months of it his money went to paying off t he personal credit card debt he racked up when he wasn't earning much the year before. When we moved I soon found a job in our new city making around the same amount as before, but hubby was making a few $ less an hour than me. After 2 yrs at that job they let him go (downsizing). He was out of work for a few months then I recommended he try a temp agency that my company used. He got an assignment that lasted a year that could have been permanent but they chose someone else and let him go after a year. He was out of work for a few months after that then got a really great job when a friend recommended him and he was only making a few thousand $ less than me, but after a year they let him go because he made a few mistakes. He was able to get unemployment and sat at home for almost a year after not being able to find a job. All the while he spends most of our money on technology/electronics, he loves video games and our cars were older (over 10 yrs) so we had to replace them . I wanted to have kids around year 3 of our marriage but hubby said he didn't want to and that if it ever happened he would stop working n stay home and I'd have to support him n the child because I've always made more $ than him. This hurt me tremendously but he said it on a number of occasions and I told him I disagreed but decided to give up my dream of having a family. No way I was going to support a lazy husband n child, when all the times that he's been out of work I still have to cook, clean, wash the laundry, and he won't cut the lawn so we had pay someone to do it. He does the minimum of work and will help sometimes but all the house chores are my responsibility. I feel like I married a dependant. Anyway work was way too stressful and I couldn't take anymore and my husband was still unemployed so I told him I was tired of being treated like crap by my boss n having to keep working because he wasn't so I told him I was giving my 2 week notice n he would have to sup port us while I took a break to recharge. I quit my job and a few weeks later he found a part time job as a cashier at a drug store. For the next few months we lived off of savings because he wasn't making much but I did appreciate that he was working. Then he got a job offer in another state from a friend. We sold our house and moved for the job. He was employed for about 4 months and they let him go. I got a good paying job in the city we moved to and my husband decide to be unemployed again for the next 6 months (again working on deals in the pipeline and a new website that did not earn any money n didn't pan out to anything). Finally he got a job about 36 hrs per week making a few $ above minimum wage. For a long while when we moved this last time and he lost his job I was so depressed I thought of just leaving him. I'm soon to be too old to have kids, I'm trying to rebuild our savings but have less than when I was single. We live in an apartment and he wants us to buy house/condo but I keep putting him off because I don't feel ready to buy a house that I'm going to have the pressure to be responsibile for again because I can't depend on him keeping a job to pay for it. I seriously think about getting a divorce all the time. He's a kind man but sometimes I just don't feel loved because to me a husband who loves me would take care of me not expect me to support him. Oh and one thing I worry about is if I get divorced I've always made more money than him and in our state I believe I would have to pay alimony. Sorry this is such a long post, but any advice would be appreciated.
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