I'm in the midst of a convoluted separation (is there any other kind?). My wife asked for a separation after a very rough period in our relationship, and I agreed. We still live together, though in separate rooms, while we try to figure out what our next step is, and she frankly spends most nights elsewhere at this point - we don't see each other very much. We have not gotten to the point of telling family members about our situation, though some close friends do know, and we have not started any divorce proceedings.
That's the background, and brings me to where I could use some insight/advice. I have never been, will never be, the cheating type, and so while I found certain people attractive (as all humans do), I never acted in any way or allowed any kind of feelings to develop. However, now that we have been separated a few months and I feel that my wife has pushed me out of much of her life, that part of myself that feels things for others has come back to life. It wasn't intentional, but has just happened. And I've now found myself being overwhelmed with a lot of emotions - feelings towards other people, and then those feelings leading to immense guilt, since there is not yet a divorce and part of me feels I should be trying to salvage what could be left of my marriage rather than looking for love in others.
Has anyone here dealt with this? Are these feelings towards others simply my mind's way of trying to mask the pain of my separation? Perhaps this isn't something anyone can answer - I just wanted to put it out there. I know what would likely be best for me would be a time of healing without any emotional attachments, but I'm having trouble being rational about my emotions right now. Thanks for any thoughts!!
That's the background, and brings me to where I could use some insight/advice. I have never been, will never be, the cheating type, and so while I found certain people attractive (as all humans do), I never acted in any way or allowed any kind of feelings to develop. However, now that we have been separated a few months and I feel that my wife has pushed me out of much of her life, that part of myself that feels things for others has come back to life. It wasn't intentional, but has just happened. And I've now found myself being overwhelmed with a lot of emotions - feelings towards other people, and then those feelings leading to immense guilt, since there is not yet a divorce and part of me feels I should be trying to salvage what could be left of my marriage rather than looking for love in others.
Has anyone here dealt with this? Are these feelings towards others simply my mind's way of trying to mask the pain of my separation? Perhaps this isn't something anyone can answer - I just wanted to put it out there. I know what would likely be best for me would be a time of healing without any emotional attachments, but I'm having trouble being rational about my emotions right now. Thanks for any thoughts!!
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