I posted previously on this site about problems I had in my Marriage, a lot has happened since that time and I'd like your input;
Married 17 years with 2 children, 13 and 16, I'm 54 and my wife is 37, She's a beautiful woman, slim, charming and very sociable.
Last 7-10 years has been consumed with petty arguing and disrespect, I always felt something was troubling her about me I couldn't figure out what it was, that was until 3 months when we for the first time in our lives had a open and honest discussion about how we felt, My solution to the problem was divorce, something I always wanted, her solution was an open marriage because she does NOT want to divorce me, says she still loves me, She had all the rules for this arrangement rehearsed in her head, I didn't know what to think because I never gave it any thought before, Stupid me, I agreed to it..
Turns out she's been seeing another guy, not romantically but sociably for 1 year prior, I know him, he's the same age as I am but VERY WELL off financially, he's the VP of a major corporation, he's basically been wooing her for 1 year and having an open marriage allows her to take it one step further with this him, In brief, he's been showering with shopping sprees at $500 a pop, Fine dining at the Ritz, vacations, all the places she likes that we couldn't afford to do.
I'm the sole bread winner, I'm self employed and I work 6 to 7 days a week, I earn nearly 80K a year, she's a part time server and earns roughly 20K, combined we earn 100K a year and living in So. California it's NOT a lot, I put her though school to be a MA and she obtained her certifications, that was 2 years ago and she's never followed though with a medical job, she's still serving... I feel if she bumped her income up we can do the things she wants and do it together.
Not only is she dating a VP, she began dating a Restaurant tycoon who wants her as well, another sugar daddy who wants companionship, he recently offered to pay for plastic surgery that she's always wanted, a tummy tuck and a boob job, needless to say she's a busy woman and I rarely see her..
Oddly, since this happened we have gotten along real well, it's actually brought us closer together, but in the past few weeks my feelings began to change about this who open marriage BS, I'm not dating anyone steady, I've had 3 dinner dates, nothing serious, I actually don't have a lot of time to date and since I have stronger feelings for my Wife now than ever, I really don't feel the need to date at all, we have a great sex life so I'm quite satisfied.
My biggest problem with this arrangement is that I'm busting my ass everyday to pay the bills while she's out having a great time, and receiving goodies as well, it's really messed up, and the nights she stays over, I'm home alone with the kids and eats me up going to be alone, and I've never been the jealous type, but lately I have feelings of jealously.
I expressed this all to her and told her I cant live like this and that's eating me alive, I gave her until Valentines day to decide what direction she wants, Open Marrige or Divorce, I prefer the latter even though I love her, I will never be able to satisfy her needs UNLESS she gets off her rear end and contributes more financially, and I don't see that happening.
She's could do so much with her life and career but chooses not too.. Hard work VS taking the easy way out, that's what it comes down to.
Your thoughts
Married 17 years with 2 children, 13 and 16, I'm 54 and my wife is 37, She's a beautiful woman, slim, charming and very sociable.
Last 7-10 years has been consumed with petty arguing and disrespect, I always felt something was troubling her about me I couldn't figure out what it was, that was until 3 months when we for the first time in our lives had a open and honest discussion about how we felt, My solution to the problem was divorce, something I always wanted, her solution was an open marriage because she does NOT want to divorce me, says she still loves me, She had all the rules for this arrangement rehearsed in her head, I didn't know what to think because I never gave it any thought before, Stupid me, I agreed to it..
Turns out she's been seeing another guy, not romantically but sociably for 1 year prior, I know him, he's the same age as I am but VERY WELL off financially, he's the VP of a major corporation, he's basically been wooing her for 1 year and having an open marriage allows her to take it one step further with this him, In brief, he's been showering with shopping sprees at $500 a pop, Fine dining at the Ritz, vacations, all the places she likes that we couldn't afford to do.
I'm the sole bread winner, I'm self employed and I work 6 to 7 days a week, I earn nearly 80K a year, she's a part time server and earns roughly 20K, combined we earn 100K a year and living in So. California it's NOT a lot, I put her though school to be a MA and she obtained her certifications, that was 2 years ago and she's never followed though with a medical job, she's still serving... I feel if she bumped her income up we can do the things she wants and do it together.
Not only is she dating a VP, she began dating a Restaurant tycoon who wants her as well, another sugar daddy who wants companionship, he recently offered to pay for plastic surgery that she's always wanted, a tummy tuck and a boob job, needless to say she's a busy woman and I rarely see her..
Oddly, since this happened we have gotten along real well, it's actually brought us closer together, but in the past few weeks my feelings began to change about this who open marriage BS, I'm not dating anyone steady, I've had 3 dinner dates, nothing serious, I actually don't have a lot of time to date and since I have stronger feelings for my Wife now than ever, I really don't feel the need to date at all, we have a great sex life so I'm quite satisfied.
My biggest problem with this arrangement is that I'm busting my ass everyday to pay the bills while she's out having a great time, and receiving goodies as well, it's really messed up, and the nights she stays over, I'm home alone with the kids and eats me up going to be alone, and I've never been the jealous type, but lately I have feelings of jealously.
I expressed this all to her and told her I cant live like this and that's eating me alive, I gave her until Valentines day to decide what direction she wants, Open Marrige or Divorce, I prefer the latter even though I love her, I will never be able to satisfy her needs UNLESS she gets off her rear end and contributes more financially, and I don't see that happening.
She's could do so much with her life and career but chooses not too.. Hard work VS taking the easy way out, that's what it comes down to.
Your thoughts
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