I'm still trying to figure out how to put all this into words and I can't say I understand it fully, but let's try. Sorry if this is all over the place and scrambeld.
My SO of 4.5 years kissed another man, according to her he kissed her but she didn't brake it off.
She felt terrible after and they talked about it, she tells me it was a mistake.
How do I know about this?
I found a text from the OM on her phone one day. He told her that he had feelings for her. I asked her about it and she told me about the kiss and that she does not have feelings for him and that nothing else happened.
Ok, not that big of a thing, right? How do they even know each other?
My SO moved to another city recently to study. The OM and my SO got in touch via a mutual friend. I was actualy happy for her because meeting new friends in a new city can be hard. I know she had told him that she was in a relationship and I trusted her.
She had trouble finding some place to live. The OM already had a couple of flatmates that were going to move out so he offered her a room when it would become available.
So how and when was DDay?
I don't actually know how and when it happened. I know that she was distant for a few weeks, didn't respond regularly to texts, claimed she was very busy with uni. They were hanging out watching a movie when he kissed her. Two weeks later I found the text and she told me.
Ok what's the problem?
I actually believe her that she made a mistake and that she does not have feelings for him. BUT she did not cut contact with him. AND she actually moved into one of the rooms he offered. I get that they arranged for that before the kiss happened and that it is really hard to find a place to stay in that city, but still?!
So now I'm in a very weird place. I believe that she wants to move on with me and not with him and I want to give that a chance but EVERYTHING reminds me of the fact that he is there and that it happened! Even worse is the fact that she is actually really busy with uni and doesn't have the time and place of mind to deal with it the way I would like to. Plus there is the long distance aspect.
What do I do? Trust it was just a mistake and try to move on and hope that time will make it easier? Demand they brake all contact and she finds a new place to live?
My SO of 4.5 years kissed another man, according to her he kissed her but she didn't brake it off.
She felt terrible after and they talked about it, she tells me it was a mistake.
How do I know about this?
I found a text from the OM on her phone one day. He told her that he had feelings for her. I asked her about it and she told me about the kiss and that she does not have feelings for him and that nothing else happened.
Ok, not that big of a thing, right? How do they even know each other?
My SO moved to another city recently to study. The OM and my SO got in touch via a mutual friend. I was actualy happy for her because meeting new friends in a new city can be hard. I know she had told him that she was in a relationship and I trusted her.
She had trouble finding some place to live. The OM already had a couple of flatmates that were going to move out so he offered her a room when it would become available.
So how and when was DDay?
I don't actually know how and when it happened. I know that she was distant for a few weeks, didn't respond regularly to texts, claimed she was very busy with uni. They were hanging out watching a movie when he kissed her. Two weeks later I found the text and she told me.
Ok what's the problem?
I actually believe her that she made a mistake and that she does not have feelings for him. BUT she did not cut contact with him. AND she actually moved into one of the rooms he offered. I get that they arranged for that before the kiss happened and that it is really hard to find a place to stay in that city, but still?!
So now I'm in a very weird place. I believe that she wants to move on with me and not with him and I want to give that a chance but EVERYTHING reminds me of the fact that he is there and that it happened! Even worse is the fact that she is actually really busy with uni and doesn't have the time and place of mind to deal with it the way I would like to. Plus there is the long distance aspect.
What do I do? Trust it was just a mistake and try to move on and hope that time will make it easier? Demand they brake all contact and she finds a new place to live?
Put the internet to work for you.
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