Background:
-Married 15 yrs in may, H35,W33, (5) children ages 9, 12, 14, 14.5, 16.5
3 older children are from previous relationships, all have lived with us under same roof
- Married when I was 21, she was 19. I started it off horrible from the get go.
My wife moved in with me 2 weeks after our first date. I had two children, she had 1. She would stay home and watch the kids while I went out and partied 3 or 4 nights a week (@strip clubs). 2 months after being together she found out I had sex with another woman (stripper), 1 month after that she found out I had sex with my childrens mother (in our house) while she was out of town. 1 month after that I got in serious legal trouble and realized it was time for me to make a change (scared straight). I was seeking gods grace because of my legal troubles. 6 months after dating we got married.
After our wedding we went to dinner with family. We'll were hispanic, so I was unfortunate to receive multiple shots and alcholic drinks. After we left to go to our hotel i cussed my new bride out, called her every name in the book, told her the only reason i married her was because I was going to jail. Got to the hotel room and passed out. We got married on a saturday, the day before mothers day. So mothers day I had the worst hangover I'd ever had in my life. She dropped me off at our house and went to spend the day with her mother and kids.
-5 years into our marriage she had an affair with a co-worker, I was devastaded when I caught her.
-7 years into our marriage I had and affair with a family friend/co-worker and was going to leave my wife for her. But while I was out on vacation she was hitting on another co worker. Wife never found out.
-Sometime after this I started talking to another coworker, we planned on having a fwb type of relationship, but I was fired from the company before anything ever happened and left the woman alone.
Now 14 years into marriage I found out my wife was talking (and God knows what else) with another man daily from late May-Aug 19 when I caught her. She said he was just a friend, someone who was positive who she could talk to, because I was always mean and negative. Over the summer I suspected something was going on and accused her, but she would tell me I was crazy. I was taking weight lose pills at the time and she would blame that for my paronia. She had the mans named saved under one of her girlfriends name. We went on a 4 day family vacation over the summer, and she talked to him during that time as well. They talked damn near every day for 3 months.
During this period once she posted a snipet on facebook "facebook ruining marriages since 2006" & "Just because your single doesnt mean your available, Just because your married doesnt mean your taken" or something to that matter. I repeatedly asked her to delete her facebook account because she was on it constantly 24/7. But again she said I was controlling and crazy.
May is as far back as I went on her phone records, but also found out she was talking to an old bf as well through the month of may, that ended as the new#/guy started, but I have no idea when it began or how long it lasted.
I called both men, the ex bf completely denied, and the other guy said it was only a friendship. Of course I know the motto "lie til you die".
I tried for two weeks to try and get my wife to confess it was a sexual affair. I tried everything from being angry, sympathetic, to driving her crazy asking her repeatedly as she sat there crying. When all of this failed, I finally confessed my wrong doing s, thinking she would do the same. But she stuck to her story. Now if I bring it up, she says I did the same thing, if not worse because I did it with her/our friend.
She says if i leave her, her life will be ruined and she will not be able to function.
Since finding out she does just about everything I request. She immediatly closed her facebook and changed her # with out me asking.
Im confused and dont know what to do. If I stay will this happen again.
i have not been a perfect husband. Cheating has been on my mind during the entire 14yrs of marriage. I have had one affair, and was extremely close to a 2nd.
Shortly after I got fired from my job I started a my own business and made that my priority from 2011-2013 ignoring the needs of my wife and children. I have never really given it my all and tried to be a good husband, or the kind of husband i would want my daughter to have.
We have 5 children and thats what makes this so tough. Any advice will be greatly appreciated.
-Married 15 yrs in may, H35,W33, (5) children ages 9, 12, 14, 14.5, 16.5
3 older children are from previous relationships, all have lived with us under same roof
- Married when I was 21, she was 19. I started it off horrible from the get go.
My wife moved in with me 2 weeks after our first date. I had two children, she had 1. She would stay home and watch the kids while I went out and partied 3 or 4 nights a week (@strip clubs). 2 months after being together she found out I had sex with another woman (stripper), 1 month after that she found out I had sex with my childrens mother (in our house) while she was out of town. 1 month after that I got in serious legal trouble and realized it was time for me to make a change (scared straight). I was seeking gods grace because of my legal troubles. 6 months after dating we got married.
After our wedding we went to dinner with family. We'll were hispanic, so I was unfortunate to receive multiple shots and alcholic drinks. After we left to go to our hotel i cussed my new bride out, called her every name in the book, told her the only reason i married her was because I was going to jail. Got to the hotel room and passed out. We got married on a saturday, the day before mothers day. So mothers day I had the worst hangover I'd ever had in my life. She dropped me off at our house and went to spend the day with her mother and kids.
-5 years into our marriage she had an affair with a co-worker, I was devastaded when I caught her.
-7 years into our marriage I had and affair with a family friend/co-worker and was going to leave my wife for her. But while I was out on vacation she was hitting on another co worker. Wife never found out.
-Sometime after this I started talking to another coworker, we planned on having a fwb type of relationship, but I was fired from the company before anything ever happened and left the woman alone.
Now 14 years into marriage I found out my wife was talking (and God knows what else) with another man daily from late May-Aug 19 when I caught her. She said he was just a friend, someone who was positive who she could talk to, because I was always mean and negative. Over the summer I suspected something was going on and accused her, but she would tell me I was crazy. I was taking weight lose pills at the time and she would blame that for my paronia. She had the mans named saved under one of her girlfriends name. We went on a 4 day family vacation over the summer, and she talked to him during that time as well. They talked damn near every day for 3 months.
During this period once she posted a snipet on facebook "facebook ruining marriages since 2006" & "Just because your single doesnt mean your available, Just because your married doesnt mean your taken" or something to that matter. I repeatedly asked her to delete her facebook account because she was on it constantly 24/7. But again she said I was controlling and crazy.
May is as far back as I went on her phone records, but also found out she was talking to an old bf as well through the month of may, that ended as the new#/guy started, but I have no idea when it began or how long it lasted.
I called both men, the ex bf completely denied, and the other guy said it was only a friendship. Of course I know the motto "lie til you die".
I tried for two weeks to try and get my wife to confess it was a sexual affair. I tried everything from being angry, sympathetic, to driving her crazy asking her repeatedly as she sat there crying. When all of this failed, I finally confessed my wrong doing s, thinking she would do the same. But she stuck to her story. Now if I bring it up, she says I did the same thing, if not worse because I did it with her/our friend.
She says if i leave her, her life will be ruined and she will not be able to function.
Since finding out she does just about everything I request. She immediatly closed her facebook and changed her # with out me asking.
Im confused and dont know what to do. If I stay will this happen again.
i have not been a perfect husband. Cheating has been on my mind during the entire 14yrs of marriage. I have had one affair, and was extremely close to a 2nd.
Shortly after I got fired from my job I started a my own business and made that my priority from 2011-2013 ignoring the needs of my wife and children. I have never really given it my all and tried to be a good husband, or the kind of husband i would want my daughter to have.
We have 5 children and thats what makes this so tough. Any advice will be greatly appreciated.
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