Unfortunately, I am not new to this site. I posted on here last spring about discovering my husband's supposed EA with our personal banker ( I am not sure it wasn't physical, I just don't have the proof and he won't admit it). Long story short, even after I uncovered it and confronted him, I stayed because I didn't want to turn our kids lives upside down. Let me repeat that for all of you who want to say "JUST LEAVE HIM" - I stayed because I didn't want to turn our kids lives upside down. If we had no kids I am CERTAIN I would have left him by now - but kids change everything. Anyway, I am back on here now because I just need some support. I feel like I have let him get away with it because he has pretty much refused to talk about it any more. We went to a 2 day marriage counseling center out of state and he acted like a complete jackass the whole time. So that was a complete waste of money. He thinks I have forgiven him, because all is back to n ormal between us. Sex usually at least twice a week, clothes washed, breakfast and dinner cooked, etc. so we are the vision of the perfect family to those on the outside. Problem is I simply don't trust him anymore. He had multiple EA's 2+ years ago, I caught him, forgave him, and then he did it again last December (with the banker chick). I honestly believe he is still in contact with her but I can't prove it because he is very careful to communicate with her on his phone and then delete it so I can't see it (i.e Facebook, instagram, Hangouts etc.) He is smart enough not to text her because that was easy for me to uncover the first time around. I am just so weary of this situation. I have everything a woman could want - we are financially well off, 2 healthy intelligent kids with no "issues", a nice house, car, etc. So I think to myself, "most people would KILL to be where you're at right now - do you really want to walk away from all this?". Not having to worry a bout money is nice, but will not be so nice if we divorce. But if I am pretty sure he is continuing his shenanigans, what do I do? Do I confront him again with no proof only to be told I am being paranoid? He wants me to just "sit down and shut up". He wants me to just look the other way. He feels entitled to do whatever he wants because he has provided such a stable material life for me and the kids. Which brings me to the narcissist issue. My therapist and I believe very strongly that he has Narcissistic Personality Disorder - hence his feelings of entitlement/feeling that the rules of marriage do not apply to him/refusal to get counseling because he does not think anything is wrong with him, etc. Just need some support from y'all...start snooping more? Leave well enough alone and just deal with what God has given me? I forgave him once and he did it again. Do I keep forgiving him and hope he will see that he is ruining our marriage one day? I just don't know wh at to do anymore....I know I don't feel the same about him as I once did. I don't trust him and he does not even seem to care. Go ahead and let me have it folks - I'll take the tough talk with the reassuring supportive talk - have at it. Maybe it will wake me up.
Put the internet to work for you.
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