I feel the need to highlight how often I see the following argument used to justify otherwise unreasonable behaviour or unsavoury character traits.....
"He / She was like this when you met, so why do you expect him / her to be any different now?"
I've seen this so many times in so many discussions. It's the logical equivalent of "suck it up, buttercup". It seems that it's only aim is to label someones discontent as unreasonable and therefore end the discussion, contributing nothing positive in the process. And it suggests that actively encouraging someone else to change is an inherantly negative thing.
Personally, I take the view that if we're not changing, growing and improving over time then we're frankly not living life. I'm not the same person I was 20 years ago and neither is my wife. If I have an issue with something she does or doesn't do it shouldn't just be written off as an unreasonable complaint because "it's always been that way". And vice versa. My wife has changing demands and expectations of me as we grow and change. It's all part of the fun of marriage :) The fact that something always was is no reason for it to always be.
Just wanted to throw that out there :)
"He / She was like this when you met, so why do you expect him / her to be any different now?"
I've seen this so many times in so many discussions. It's the logical equivalent of "suck it up, buttercup". It seems that it's only aim is to label someones discontent as unreasonable and therefore end the discussion, contributing nothing positive in the process. And it suggests that actively encouraging someone else to change is an inherantly negative thing.
Personally, I take the view that if we're not changing, growing and improving over time then we're frankly not living life. I'm not the same person I was 20 years ago and neither is my wife. If I have an issue with something she does or doesn't do it shouldn't just be written off as an unreasonable complaint because "it's always been that way". And vice versa. My wife has changing demands and expectations of me as we grow and change. It's all part of the fun of marriage :) The fact that something always was is no reason for it to always be.
Just wanted to throw that out there :)
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