Husband had feelings for coworker

Hi, i'm having problems getting over the fact that my husband had feelings for one of his co workers. They've had a very close relationship over the years (while my husband and I were just boyfriend/girlfriend), and now that we are married, they still remained close friends until now (well i hope so). Two days ago I found a post card he got from her for his birthday, in his gym bag. It read "To my Guy T, you are more cherished than you think, from your girl S"… I immediately flipped, I called him over the phone, screaming to the top of my voice how inappropriate that card was as well as the "friendship" they shared. I am extremely hurt as over the years, I've questioned their friendship and was always "reassured" that it wasn't that big of a deal; it was nothing. I've read their countless conversations and found it inappropriate as it included jokes that contained sexual innuendos, sharing of each other's relationship issues with their significant others (which i've always objected to, since the female in question is familiar with me and I wished that my business remained private), one example of the inappropriateness of their friendship was that he tagged her in a picture of a penis with a "snickers" chocolate wrapper logo stuck to it (it was not his penis, it was just a random meme floating on the internet)… My husband and I have had arguments over this and the last time before this incident, he reassured me that he would "fix" the problem. His meaning of fixing the problem, was deleting the text messages and phone calls so that I wouldn't see them, however, on different occasions, I've seen that they still had their close relationship going(as the conversations suggested), unfortunately, the next time I picked up his phone, the messages were deleted, phone calls as well. Its only until the postcard incident, that I mentioned earlier, I told him that I was leaving him, I messaged his parents that as well. Its only then, he became serious about cutting off their "friendship" and mentioned to me that he was sorry. During that moment, I felt relieved and comforted and reassured him that I loved him. At that moment I thought I had forgiven him, until now. Two days later, I'm angry, depressed, and hurt all over again. I feel as if I let him off too easy. I feel as if I want revenge and I want to see him hurt the same way he hurt me. I feel betrayed and misled, since over the years, his reassurance that their relationship was not inappropriate, have turned out to be a lie. Now my issue is trusting him now, as I believe that cheating begins in the mind. He claimed that they never had any sexual relations or physical contact, which I believe, but I can't get over the fact that he felt this way about another person for so long! I felt as if I was cheated on… Am I over-reacting? Was it really not that a big of a deal? We've opted to go for counselling. All advice is welcomed please. I really need it.

Ps. we've been married for 6 months and share a beautiful baby boy.

Shay

Put the internet to work for you.

Turn off or edit this Recipe