Hello,
For a majority of my marriage, my husband and I had a long distance relationship, but that wasn't what lead to the demise of our marriage. I actually don't want to go too much into detail of what the marriage entailed, because long story short, we are currently going through a divorce. We've been married for 3 years and the divorce was not mutual, but on his terms. Either way, the divorce should be finalized in about a week or so... My confusion relies on the fact that during the time I was signing the papers, we were together in our bedroom. I had finally come to terms that this was something he wanted and because I love him so much I went ahead to begin signing them. At that point, I figured once these papers our signed and processed, it's over and done. I was so confused by his words because his actions said something else. While I was signing the papers on the bed, he came up behind me and began whispering sweet nothings, telling me he loves me, and being affectionate. Th at confused me because I was literally signing the X to confirm that our marriage was broken. When I finished signing the papers, I turned to him, where his eyes were filled in tears and he made me a promise that this wasn't the end for us. He said he was a man of his word and he promises me that all he wants is a fresh start for us. That since at this time he was unable to give me all the things he wanted for me and (his words) in a year he wanted to fix things up, so that we can live together, go to school, work, so that I can have the big wedding we never had with my family there, etc. While I was still there with him, we made love, said our I love you's, went on dates, did things any normal couple did. Now that I have come back home, since we are long distance, and with the divorce nearing its finalization, he's been contacting me and tell me he misses me, stills calls me by my pet names, say things like "maybe we can get a house together...," but yet we're divorcing and he hasn't mentioned anything about being exclusive to each other on this "fresh start" or considers me his girlfriend. I just believe its unfair for me because its making it difficult to move forward, when he's giving me signs of hope. I love the man with everything I have and if there was still a possibility of us getting back together, I would take the first plane out to be with him. But yet, at this time "we're just friends,"and we will no longer be married. Mind you, I never wanted this divorce. I'm not sure if this is our fresh start and we're just rebuilding our relationship at this time, since the divorce is going to be final OR if he's just leading me on and truly wants nothing to do with me... I don't know what to do. I don't want to give up on our love, but I'm just in limbo.... I tried confronting him about it, telling him to be honest and to tell me that if there's a future for us to let me know and if there isn't a future for us to also let me know, because its not fair to me and I need to let go if there's nothing left for us. He said that there was a future for us... But I reminded him that he had referred to us as just friends. So how is there a future for us when we're just friends, but you're telling me you miss me and call me by my pet names? And he said "well ykno we're still going through the divorce..." What does that even mean? "were still going through the divorce" That we're going to act like a married couple until its finalized? And then begin fresh after the divorce is final? I just need help reading between the lines. Help.
For a majority of my marriage, my husband and I had a long distance relationship, but that wasn't what lead to the demise of our marriage. I actually don't want to go too much into detail of what the marriage entailed, because long story short, we are currently going through a divorce. We've been married for 3 years and the divorce was not mutual, but on his terms. Either way, the divorce should be finalized in about a week or so... My confusion relies on the fact that during the time I was signing the papers, we were together in our bedroom. I had finally come to terms that this was something he wanted and because I love him so much I went ahead to begin signing them. At that point, I figured once these papers our signed and processed, it's over and done. I was so confused by his words because his actions said something else. While I was signing the papers on the bed, he came up behind me and began whispering sweet nothings, telling me he loves me, and being affectionate. Th at confused me because I was literally signing the X to confirm that our marriage was broken. When I finished signing the papers, I turned to him, where his eyes were filled in tears and he made me a promise that this wasn't the end for us. He said he was a man of his word and he promises me that all he wants is a fresh start for us. That since at this time he was unable to give me all the things he wanted for me and (his words) in a year he wanted to fix things up, so that we can live together, go to school, work, so that I can have the big wedding we never had with my family there, etc. While I was still there with him, we made love, said our I love you's, went on dates, did things any normal couple did. Now that I have come back home, since we are long distance, and with the divorce nearing its finalization, he's been contacting me and tell me he misses me, stills calls me by my pet names, say things like "maybe we can get a house together...," but yet we're divorcing and he hasn't mentioned anything about being exclusive to each other on this "fresh start" or considers me his girlfriend. I just believe its unfair for me because its making it difficult to move forward, when he's giving me signs of hope. I love the man with everything I have and if there was still a possibility of us getting back together, I would take the first plane out to be with him. But yet, at this time "we're just friends,"and we will no longer be married. Mind you, I never wanted this divorce. I'm not sure if this is our fresh start and we're just rebuilding our relationship at this time, since the divorce is going to be final OR if he's just leading me on and truly wants nothing to do with me... I don't know what to do. I don't want to give up on our love, but I'm just in limbo.... I tried confronting him about it, telling him to be honest and to tell me that if there's a future for us to let me know and if there isn't a future for us to also let me know, because its not fair to me and I need to let go if there's nothing left for us. He said that there was a future for us... But I reminded him that he had referred to us as just friends. So how is there a future for us when we're just friends, but you're telling me you miss me and call me by my pet names? And he said "well ykno we're still going through the divorce..." What does that even mean? "were still going through the divorce" That we're going to act like a married couple until its finalized? And then begin fresh after the divorce is final? I just need help reading between the lines. Help.
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