I cannot go back to my flat for legal reasons until 19 December, provided the a-hole judge says I can. This is really annoying because I have to use others as if they were running a ferry service. He will probably fine me. See my previous posts.
But the root problem is not so much that, but really all to do with my obsession with this Sara and Joanna who used to support me, until it was made aware I liked them in an unhealthy way.
Why should I go back to living there anyway? Those women are off helping others and I am not scared to admit the thought of that makes me jealous. They would decline to do sleepovers because they know I will come like a sick puppy dog to them just to grace myself with my very unpleasant presence.
Joanna studies now too, going by what someone told me. She will probably leave one day, and so we will never make up, so why bother living there? I wound up jailed twice over these two, yet they hardly care at all that everything I endured like the lying, the heartache and the multiple arrests by the police was all over them. My life should not end because of two women, but now my anxiety is destroying me. Maybe I should be dead. What life do I really have left to lead now? I even quit my support, so I am screwed either way.
Every night when I go to a general store to use a self-service machine to pay for items I am buying, I just feel hot and quite anxious. Stress causes that to get worse if left untreated because it is like the stress has a grip on me. Agoraphobia can be worsened by stress. Years ago, I had a job, but I was never this anxious, but then again - all this crap had yet to play out. Now unless I get this anxiety in check, my life may as well be over.
That boss of theirs will never bring them back. They most likely would not want to work with me again in any case and I cannot email them or contact them AT ALL, or I know my butt will be locked away again when the pigs find me. It is horrible waking up every morning remembering being in jail and I got assaulted once too.
However, what is the company doing to rectify the problems? NOTHING. That is what!
But the root problem is not so much that, but really all to do with my obsession with this Sara and Joanna who used to support me, until it was made aware I liked them in an unhealthy way.
Why should I go back to living there anyway? Those women are off helping others and I am not scared to admit the thought of that makes me jealous. They would decline to do sleepovers because they know I will come like a sick puppy dog to them just to grace myself with my very unpleasant presence.
Joanna studies now too, going by what someone told me. She will probably leave one day, and so we will never make up, so why bother living there? I wound up jailed twice over these two, yet they hardly care at all that everything I endured like the lying, the heartache and the multiple arrests by the police was all over them. My life should not end because of two women, but now my anxiety is destroying me. Maybe I should be dead. What life do I really have left to lead now? I even quit my support, so I am screwed either way.
Every night when I go to a general store to use a self-service machine to pay for items I am buying, I just feel hot and quite anxious. Stress causes that to get worse if left untreated because it is like the stress has a grip on me. Agoraphobia can be worsened by stress. Years ago, I had a job, but I was never this anxious, but then again - all this crap had yet to play out. Now unless I get this anxiety in check, my life may as well be over.
That boss of theirs will never bring them back. They most likely would not want to work with me again in any case and I cannot email them or contact them AT ALL, or I know my butt will be locked away again when the pigs find me. It is horrible waking up every morning remembering being in jail and I got assaulted once too.
However, what is the company doing to rectify the problems? NOTHING. That is what!
Put the internet to work for you.
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