Hello,
I am having an incredibly difficult time understanding how my marriage has fallen apart in the span of two months and I need somewhere to vent and get some type of emotional support from neutral parties. Beware, it's long..
My husband and I have been great friends since high school and there was always a connection between us, though we were young then and never acted on it. About 6 years ago, we rekindled our friendship and started a relationship. We quickly moved in together, he proposed and we married within a few months. About a year ago we bought our first home together and a puppy. Two months ago we talked about having kids and wanted to try.
About 5 months ago, my husband took a huge pay cut and started a new job with a start-up company. This job includes working an excess of 60 hours per week and due to his schedule, we have lacked quality time together. The few times we went out or took trips together, things were great but the nights he would come home late and be so stressed out that we would just argue constantly. He has also been trying to quit smoking (going on a month and a half now) which clearly adds to his stress.
About two months ago, my husband started saying that he wasn't happy and he began withdrawing from me. He began increasing contact with his female boss (who is about our age) via text after work hours. I saw some of the text messages on his phone and he accused me of spying and insisted that he was not having an affair.
One night, he decided to leave and stay at his mothers. That night, he came home three times to check on me and then returned home for good the next evening. At this time, he cried and told me he didn't understand why he couldn't be happy and that he felt like a terrible person and wanted to be a better person; these are things I've never heard him say. We continued to talk and he expressed that he wanted to sell the house and move away, start somewhere new and I was ready to do that to save our marriage.
The next two weeks were great, we had good sex and had it often and then one morning we got into an argument over the silliest thing and he started talking about divorce and not being happy and stated that he didn't love me the way that he should. Since then, he has moved out and continues to tell me that we have had a great friendship but that we were never in love.
Needless to say, this is devastating to hear and I am completely confused and don't understand how everything could change in two months time. We had previously scheduled an appointment for counseling but now he refuses to come and doesn't even have the decency to sit down with me and listen to my feelings or to even come just to help me understand. Each time I try to initiate a discussion, he simply says that "we need to decide what we are going to do with everything."
It's as if he is a completely different person who has shut down inside and turned off all of his emotions. Is it even possible to have loved someone and then to just suddenly stop loving them? On Sunday, he pulled in the driveway and stood on the porch for 5 full minutes without coming in the house; then he got in his car and drove away. Some part of me thinks he may be going through some depression or an emotional crisis of sorts. I wish I could be there for him but he hasn't spoken a kind word to me in a week and a half. I am comprehending that it may be time to move on but I am just so lost and confused by all of it.
Thanks, all, for taking the time to ready my long sob story.
I am having an incredibly difficult time understanding how my marriage has fallen apart in the span of two months and I need somewhere to vent and get some type of emotional support from neutral parties. Beware, it's long..
My husband and I have been great friends since high school and there was always a connection between us, though we were young then and never acted on it. About 6 years ago, we rekindled our friendship and started a relationship. We quickly moved in together, he proposed and we married within a few months. About a year ago we bought our first home together and a puppy. Two months ago we talked about having kids and wanted to try.
About 5 months ago, my husband took a huge pay cut and started a new job with a start-up company. This job includes working an excess of 60 hours per week and due to his schedule, we have lacked quality time together. The few times we went out or took trips together, things were great but the nights he would come home late and be so stressed out that we would just argue constantly. He has also been trying to quit smoking (going on a month and a half now) which clearly adds to his stress.
About two months ago, my husband started saying that he wasn't happy and he began withdrawing from me. He began increasing contact with his female boss (who is about our age) via text after work hours. I saw some of the text messages on his phone and he accused me of spying and insisted that he was not having an affair.
One night, he decided to leave and stay at his mothers. That night, he came home three times to check on me and then returned home for good the next evening. At this time, he cried and told me he didn't understand why he couldn't be happy and that he felt like a terrible person and wanted to be a better person; these are things I've never heard him say. We continued to talk and he expressed that he wanted to sell the house and move away, start somewhere new and I was ready to do that to save our marriage.
The next two weeks were great, we had good sex and had it often and then one morning we got into an argument over the silliest thing and he started talking about divorce and not being happy and stated that he didn't love me the way that he should. Since then, he has moved out and continues to tell me that we have had a great friendship but that we were never in love.
Needless to say, this is devastating to hear and I am completely confused and don't understand how everything could change in two months time. We had previously scheduled an appointment for counseling but now he refuses to come and doesn't even have the decency to sit down with me and listen to my feelings or to even come just to help me understand. Each time I try to initiate a discussion, he simply says that "we need to decide what we are going to do with everything."
It's as if he is a completely different person who has shut down inside and turned off all of his emotions. Is it even possible to have loved someone and then to just suddenly stop loving them? On Sunday, he pulled in the driveway and stood on the porch for 5 full minutes without coming in the house; then he got in his car and drove away. Some part of me thinks he may be going through some depression or an emotional crisis of sorts. I wish I could be there for him but he hasn't spoken a kind word to me in a week and a half. I am comprehending that it may be time to move on but I am just so lost and confused by all of it.
Thanks, all, for taking the time to ready my long sob story.
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