| So this is a little bit of a long story. I have been in a long term relationship (almost 6 years) with my BF( not married or engaged). I am 26 he is 31. I have just recently moved in with him. A few months back I had discovered something pretty disturbing on his computer. He had been catphishing, for those not familiar with this term...I had found a fake Facebook account registered to a different email account and was able to log on and read explicit messages from younger girls. One message thread had been occurring for years! At first I was in denial that it wasn't my bf and somehow this is all just confusion. However, I kept reading and some of the messages seemed familiar in that he would be describing his evening, all of which I had been present for and sitting in the same room as him. I was upset of course, but I am generally a non-confrontational person( a fault at times). He could tell I was upset about something, but I didn't let on at the time. I went to my house at the time went on with work, but was visibly shaken. I texted him that we had to have a talk because I could not ignore this. We did talk...I let him know everything that I had found, how upset I was and how confused I was. He told me that he had been doing this even before we met. He knew it was wrong, but he just didn't stop. He said it was because he was always lonely and felt unattractive, so he posed as a more attractive guy so girls would talk to him ( he was crying at this point). I asked him if it was because of his low self-esteem, which I've known has been a problem for him. He said yes, I tried to be understanding and let him know he is loved he has a great personality and is very attractive. At the same time telling him that this extremely hurt and I will need time. He appologized asked for my forgiveness. Which I did. He agreed to stop all of it( I straight out asked him). I appologized for snooping. We kissed and left it at that. While I was on a roll I had brought up another topic that bothered me. Porn. I myself watch porn when I need a boost, so it doesn't bother me obviously. It only bothers me when he does it when I'm in the house or when I leave the house for just a few minutes. Mainly because I feel like, why would he rather do it himself when there is a girl more then willing right in his own house? I asked him this and he said he didn't think I'd be in the mood. I told him that I've never turned him down and I'm not about to. This all being said, I believe that he has stopped the cat phishing. Although I still think of it often. The porn issue I believe has gotten worse. Just recently we had sex, but I had to work really hard to get it and after he said he didn't really feel like doing it because his member was "sore"...I assumed I knew what that was from. This morning after I got out of the shower I caught him cleaning up and he was still excited. When before I had gotten in the shower I tried to get him going, but he just laid there clearly not interested.... I'm looking for opinions and help trusting him again with the online world. And is he just being a guy when it comes to porn? I guess I'm gauging on if I should be worried about addiction. | |||
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