Dealing with exwifes affairs.

I was married to the women of my dreams for 5 years. We might have rushed into marriage 9 months meeting to getting married. I was 30 at the time and knew what I wanted and was to be with her for the rest of my life. Life was good, but around 18 months into the marriage we started to argue and how money, my ex had no sense of financial responsibility, ended up paying for numerous debts, she decided she wanted a boob job and her teeth re done. She said to boost her confidance. I told her I married her and loved the way she is, Flat as a board and buck teeth, but if it was important to her, it was important to me. So I put money done and allowed her to make payments. Now, we had no kids, she had her own job, but never paid a bill one. I saw it, it was my duty as a hushband to provide for my wife, but she seem to think her money was hers and my money was ours attitude. Things like this went on and on for 3 more years. She finally decided she wanted to move out, I told her sure maybe space would renew the marriage, but 90 days later she moved back in and 27 days after she moved back in, she moved out one day while I was out of town on a trip (pilot). Came home to a dear john letter and that she wasn't happy. I tried to reassure her and told her I didn't understood, but said lets see what happens. I really though it was to prove her self worth and after 90 days she would move back in, Not the case 6 weeks later she told me she wanted a divorce. I told her I wouldn't give her one and she would have to file, 5 months later we were divorced and I find out she had at least 7 affairs with numerous guys. One being one of my friends that was an army buddy. I felt so betrayed by the women I was crazy about. I traveled a lot and felt guilty being gone so much, but I NEVER cheated and tried to make up for the time I was gone when I was home. Ive been divorced 14 months and haven't seen her in 20 months. My he art still breaks for her. Ive seen a counselor, but that only went so far. Had a hard time sleeping, went out and drank to forget, which lasted about 4 weeks before I decided that wasn't smart. Got myself into the gym and bought me a motorcycle, working out and riding helps me clear my head. I try to keep myself busy, but I still think about my ex wife daily. Ive gone out with a couple of girls, but to me it still feels like Im cheating. When will this feeling end? Thanks in advance.

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