Dealing with a BPD

My story in a nut shell my WAW took off just before Christmas of last year. Had a toy boy OM who has destroyed many marriages in our town. Recently after reading here on TAM and talking to my IC I have a strong suppression she is a BPD. IC thinks she is a narcissist, I think she is a BPD from reading everything I can find. I have been desperate for some kind of closure from her but I now realize I will never have any. It has been almost 9 months since she walked away I no longer walk on egg shells and my life in most areas has improved. Our divorce is almost final and I have gone out with a nice gal. I am not ready for any type of a serious relationship which was a problem for her. I am too afraid of hooking up with another BPD type of person. I have been for the most part no contact except talking about the divorce or our daughter. Our daughter is pregnant at about 7 or 8 weeks. I have had no contact period for about 3 months until tonight. I checked my face book page and had a message from STBXW. "Hope we can take (our daughter) to the doctor together next week." "She thinks we will be able to hear the heart beat." What should I do????? I do not want to be on in the same room with the POS person. I love my daughter but WTF is she thinking. I need help folks. I am finally coming out of this pit and I do not need this. I know my daughter would like to have me there but I think this is just a ploy on the my STBXW part. I think it is called a hoover and yes it sucks. Please any thoughts would be helpful on my part. From what I have been reading when you go dark on a BPD you go no contact period which I have been doing. Help me figure a way to deal with this please.

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