| I am a divorced mom of four divorced almost 7 years, have been with my bf for 2 1/2 years now. My bf has no children, my kids love him, I love him. Problem is I'm scared of failure. We both have our own place, I rent, he owns his house but needs to finish up renovating the basement so we can move in. Since the end of March I have been unable to stay at may place due to bad mould. I have been staying with him since then. I am now able to stay at home again, but since I have started moving things over there already we figured that I would just move in and he would try to get the basement renovations done quicker. When we first talked about this I was very scared, to the point that I was crying. We talked about it. The main reason for me being scared is that I would have to sell half of my things to move in with him as he doesn't have room for all of my stuff, and if things ended up not working out I would be left out in the cold with having to rent another place and fully furnish it, I don't make much money and only make enough to just get by. He promised me that he would never kick me and my kids out on the street but I still worry from past faile d relationships and marriage. It has been 2 months now and I was finally starting to feel comfortable and ready then it blew up today when we got in our first fight since I have been living with him. He told me to pack all my stuff and leave. He works full time, as do I and he also does work for me for my business. It is frustrating that he will not allow me to hire another carpenter to do renos for me because he gives me dates when he will finish things and the date always passes, he gives me another date and then that passes and the work load piled up is now huge. Any time I have mentioned hiring someone else he has become furious to the point that he has threatened to leave me. His insecurity is beyond frustrating. Today for the 5th day this week has worked a 12 hour shift. There is a lot of flooding in our area and he is swamped at work. He promised me that this weekend he would at least start and almost finish a job. Then he told me today that he has to work at his other job again tomorrow. I became upset and said that I need to come first at some point. He can't keep promising me that he will do things with me and not follow through. I told him that I am sick of waiting hours for him to get home from work and that I would be going out tonight. I went to visit my friend, who my bf said he would be ok with me visiting as my friend is a male, but 25 years older then me and not attractive whatsoever, we have been good friends since college. When I told him where I was he lost it and that is when he told me to pack up and leave. I started packing and he said that he was just mad that he really didn't want me to leave. I told him if he didn't want me to leave then he should start unpacking and then I would stop packing. He didn't, just kept telling me to stay and stop packing. I was so furious that he would tell me to pack up and leave when he knew how nervous I was about koving in with him fully. I still have my place so I left, it took hours for me to pack. He lept saying if I left it was over. I told him I wasn't ready to sell half of my things to move in with him for him to just kick me out. I was taking that as a sign and will not live with him. Am I overreacting? Problem is we are both very childish when we fight. I know this is all childish stubborness but I don't want to sell my things and be kicked out on my butt or threatened to be kicked out. Please help! Really confused, I have moved almost all of my things back home, except for one more load and another load of big stuff. I feel like this could be a sign not to move in with him but at the same time its been 2 1/2 years and I feel like we need to move this to the next level at some point as we are together every night anyways. Thank you for reading this and your comments are greatly appreciated. | |||
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