| Hello Everyone, I'm new to this forum and I've been lurking on this site for the past week and finally decided to register and get some insight. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 9 months (i am 29 and he is 32) and we've been heading toward the steps for marriage. My bf's always been a really good bf, supportive, super affectionate, and attentive to my needs. It wasn't until a couple of weeks ago that I found out about his cheating ways with an ex-coworker who he managed to keep in contact on facebook. As he was in the shower, I was just browsing some sites when I happened to come across his conversations with this bi*ch. Some of the messages were very sexually explicit and I confronted him once he got out of the shower. He told me that he was sorry and that it was just online as he was seeking an ego boost or validation during the times when we fought. The girl also has a fiance and she was having problems and that when she started confiding in him about her relationship problems, so did he and it just escalated. He swore to me that his feelings for her were nothing and that in his mind, he felt he it was nothing more than just an ego boost for him to have a woman fall for him. I left his house and I was heartbroken. 2 days later, I really wanted to read the remaining facebook messages.. so i met up with him again. He told me that his phone was running out of battery, but luckily for me, I had a spare battery in my car and recharged his phone and demanded he open facebook so i could read it. Well, he reluctanctly gave me his phone and I was able to read parts where she said she was "sorry for giving him blue balls..." That just confirmed another lie.. i confronted him and he said that they just kissed.. he promised. He took the phone away and told me that I shouldn't read anymore because i was hysterical at this point.. i left him there in the parking lot. Now, its been 2 weeks since the incident and he's been messaging me and calling and i've gone NO CONTACT on him since then. A part of me wants to forgive him and seek counseling but a part of me still can't understand how such a "perfect" boyfriend could do this to me. I want to read the the rest of the facebook messages but then a part of me says, no, you know enough, let him go. My friends/family say its better to know now before we got married than many years down the line and have it ruin my family. He seems really remorseful, writing long letters how he's going to get help and how he'll take his whole lifetime to make this up to me.. There was absolutely NO BLAME on my part. He told me it was a great relationship but that he was a broken man. What do you guys think I should do? Should I continue NO contact and heal myself? Or get to the bottom of this and demand to read his facebook messages? | |||
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