Thinking - Considering a RA

It's been 10 months since d day. I'm doing really well. I think about the past but it's really minimal, I just start to think about something productive and positive instead. My wife doesn't really do or say anything special to make me feel better and she try's to forget about the past and sometimes gets upset that I bring up the past. We never attended Mc, but I managed to get in a few Ic sessions solo in the first 2 months after D day. I work out of the province so I'm only home for 7-10 days out of the month. So Mc is difficult to schedule but its not impossible. It's just that she never takes initiative for anything like this. Anyways I've been working on improving myself and my image for the past 10 months. I've turned into a gym - fitness freak! I Love it!!! I suggest for anybody that's going through bullsh*t - go and pick up a membership at your local gym. It's good therapy. So I've leaned out a lot and gained about 15lbs of clean looking muscle- im 6'4 225lbs that everybody seems to notice lately- obviously the opposite sex. I hear comments and compliments on the regular, no matter where I go. She notices this and sometimes doesn't like the attention I get. Now with this RA or A or something that I feel i want or need to do. Maybe I'm just lost and I'm not getting something from my wife to be thinking this way. I love her. After all the bull and hurt she put me through with her bad choices, at the end of the day I still Love her. But I feel there's something missing or something I need to do. Maybe I need to put myself in a situation to meet my moment of truth. Maybe I'm talking out if my ass and I'm a pussey that will back out if push comes to shove. Yes I've done reaserch on RA and what it can do to a marriage. I am not talking to any woman on the side but I am tempted to. For some reason she already thinks I'm getting back at her and I'm cheating on her. She's been accusing me for months now. I've never cheated on any girlfriend or my wife. Well I did kiss a girl when I was drunk and realized what I was doing and stopped. Big mistake and I hate myself for that. As minor as it is, I guess it's considered cheating. Anyways I need your positive advice, feedback , stories or maybe something I should do or try. Or maybe talking to my wife could be a start but I feel she might read this thread because she comes on here and checks my user name and posts I've made from time to time. I'm 28 She's 28 We have a 6 year old boy 10 months past D day Posted via Mobile Device

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